“A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world: everyone you meet is your mirror.” – Ken Keyes, Jr.
One of the most important things I’ve learned in my short years of life is that there is more than one world out there: a loving world and a hostile world. Your perspective is everything. Two people can look at the same situation yet have totally different reactions.
Getting dumped by a boyfriend:
I can’t believe this is happening to me. I’ll never find anyone else. Surely I’ll die alone.
OR
I can’t believe this is happening to me. Oh well, his loss. On to the next!
Losing your job:
This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m a total loser and no one will ever want to hire me again.
OR
This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I hated that job anyway, but I was too scared to leave. Now I can pursue bigger and better opportunities!
See the difference? It’s all about perspective. And the best thing about having multiple worlds is that you get to choose which one you want to live in.
Not so long ago, I was the total opposite of a happy black woman.
I was mad as hell. I was mad at my mom for not knowing how to be a mom. I was mad at my father for being so selfish as to take his own life. I was mad at my grandfather for dying on me before he could see me graduate from college. I was mad at each of my consecutive boyfriends for not fitting into the molds that I had created for them. I carried around a lot of resentment and I was always trying to change people. It was extremely unhealthy, to say the least.
Then one day, I decided that I wanted to live in a different world. I wanted to live in a world of abundance instead of scarcity. I wanted to live in a loving world instead of a hostile one. I wanted to live in the magical world of possibility. Quite simply, I just wanted to finally be happy after being so mad all the damn time. And ever since I changed my perspective on different things, it has, indeed been a magical world for me. It’s free of projecting my own fears and insecurities onto others. It’s free of everyone else’s fears and insecurities projected onto me. It’s a world that honors authenticity when so much around me is contrived and fake. It’s a world that demands that I give my best and expect the best in others. It’s a world that challenges me to always choose love over fear.
It’s a world that proves to me over and over that there is nothing I cannot do. Anything, anywhere is possible.
Care to join me? It’s amazing here.
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
Thank You for choosing life and encouraging us to do the same!
Rosetta,
How do you deal with expecting the best from others? I used to all the time and when I was disappointed, which was often, I would revert to the hostile world.
What, exactly, does “expect the best in others” while living in a loving world really mean???
Rosetta, I ended up at this post after reading day 17 of the previous 31 day reset. I won’t give away that day’s challenge because I don’t want to spoil it for folks on the reset journey who haven’t gotten there yet. I just wanted to thank you again and commend you for your courage and let you know that I find what you are doing revolutionary and so necessary … especially for our community – as black folk *and* black women. I hope that this movement, along with other holistic wellness efforts initiated on the internet and elsewhere, takes off and helps us grow into a happy (productive, healthy, generous, successful) black community one happy black woman at a time.
Thanks for your comment, Shannon :) Appreciate you spending time on the blog and doing the 31 Day Reset! I think we’re in a really exciting time where all the movements to help our community have the potential to help us grow and expand in a huge way.
You are amazing and you are adding to my sphere of amazing. Soon, I”ll be able to carry out my amazing all by myself. You are certainly a GEM. I appreciate your passion and your positivity. EVERYDAY! Thank you Rosetta!
Excellent post Rosetta! I totally agree with you – anything and everything is POSSIBLE!! We just have to believe.