Over the weekend, I went to visit my mom and aunt to celebrate their birthdays. They were born one day and two years apart! We hung out at the National Harbor yesterday and I was surprised at how many shops are there now compared to how many there were when it first opened. My aunt loves to shop, so we ended up exploring many of the clothing and accessory stores at the harbor. Although I saw lots of lovely things that would look good on me, I walked away from that place empty-handed, as usual. I have little desire to buy “stuff” anymore, unless it’s something I actually need. I’ve been living this way for about two years now.
When I started working for myself full-time in 2010, I also began to adopt a minimalist mindset to my life. My main goal was to buy less, use what I had and save my money for experiences instead of stuff. As a result, I’ve spent very little on “things” over the past two years. Most of my income goes to housing, student loans, car payment, food and other monthly bills. The rest goes to activities that I gift to myself or other people: traveling, trying new restaurants, attending concerts and going to festivals.
The point of living with less, for me, is not about NOT buying things. It’s about prioritizing the purchase of things that truly matter to you and add to your life. For me, that shift began with ending my habit of buying things I didn’t need. Here are seven strategies I’ve used in that journey that you may wish to consider for your own growth.
Stop watching TV. Constantly seeing celebrities on TV with their beautiful hair, designer clothes and fancy homes does a lot of damage to the psyche. Not only does it conjure up feelings of inadequacy in our own looks, but it can prompt us to buy the exact same stuff they have to make ourselves feel like we’re living just a fraction of their fabulous lives. Please remember that everything on TV is FAKE. It is an escape from your day to day life, but when you start escaping with your credit card, you can end up with a bunch of expensive items that leave you feeling no better than you did before.
Stop watching commercials. Television advertising is insidious. In college, I learned about how car marketers are taught to “manufacture desire” for new vehicles that no one needs. Used cars will do you just fine, but to have commercials tell it, you have to have the latest model BMV to have an exciting, glamorous life. Most commercials are full of lies and manipulation to get you to feel incomplete and lead you to buy things you don’t need. But when you stop watching them, you lessen the power of corporate messaging on the decision-making part of your brain.
Don’t justify shopping because it’s “on sale” or you have a “coupon.” Remember that you’re only saving money if you would have needed to buy the item anyway. In other words, a sale on toilet paper is a score, but a sale on Jimmy Choos is not. My aunt cracks me up with all the DSW and Lane Bryant coupons she gets in the mail every month. She claims she’s “saving” money on all the clothes she buys, forgetting that the best way to save money is not to spend it in the first place. Tell your favorite clothing stores to stop sending you discounts and reserve your couponing culture for buying food or other essential items.
Limit your visits to the mall. I’ve been living in Charlottesville for a month now and I haven’t been to the mall once. I have no need to, unless I’m replacing an item of clothing that’s worn out or doesn’t fit me right anymore. Idle shopping usually results in idle purchases. If you must go to the mall, go in with a purpose – to find a new pair of black dress pants or to replace your favorite pumps.
Stop buying magazines. When I was in college, I used to buy Lucky Mag religiously. I fancied myself a fashionista and I wanted to keep up with the trends. Thing is, each magazine cost $5 by itself, let alone what it would cost to purchase something highlighted in its pages. Women’s magazines are blazoned with full-page ads that promise you instant beauty and weight loss and happiness if you just buy the latest product. And if it’s a reputable publisher like Oprah or Essence, you’re already pre-wired to trust the product recommendations, which can make you even more likely to buy something you see in those magazines. Just remember that you can get many of the same articles online these days, so there really is no need to read magazines anymore.
Stop reading fashion, makeup, natural hair and thrifting blogs. I feel so conflicted about this one, as I love the creativity and artistry with which my fellow bloggers put into their sites. But there are many that I just don’t read, not because I have a problem with the bloggers themselves, but because I know that the whole purpose of their site is to recommend that I buy new clothes, buy old clothes, buy more makeup or buy every new natural hair product line that comes out. If you read blogs to get new information, inspiration or to support the writers, great! But when you find yourself feeling like you have to buy every new lip gloss that beauty bloggers review, it may be time to switch up the blogs you give your attention to.
Avoid hanging out with shopaholics. When you see everyone else around you buying the latest fashions or electronics or accessories, it can be easy to fall prey to subtle peer pressure. Plus, shopaholics are usually the first ones to urge you to “buy that dress girl, it’s so cuuuuute!” with an urgency so fierce that it’s hard not to get caught up in their excitement. So if a shopaholic friend asks you to go to the mall with her, opt to meet her afterwards for lunch or coffee instead. That way, you don’t get tempted to mirror her out-of-control spending habits.
What other strategies have you used to keep yourself from buying things that you don’t need?
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
Thanks for the motivation. Trying to become a minimalist-minded person. Shopping is not a problem anymore because I no longer have funds to shop with. However, wish I could have saved when I did have funds. Now, I’m 53 & have nothing to show for it. My life has taken so many turns: divorce, bankruptcy, working part-time but can’t get full-time employment, lost my house, Mother died in 2010, Father & Sister died in 2013. Accumulated so much ‘stuff’ from my parents & Sister. Not to mention the massive amount of ‘stuff’ I already had from moving from a 3-bdrm house w/basement & garage to a 1-bdrm apt w/no basement or garage. I have TWO storages full of stuff (1 for me, 1 for my sister’s stuff). Storage is a waste of money. All this has made me realize ‘stuff’ is not important. Want to get rid of the majority of it but don’t know where to start. With all the crime, don’t trust craiglist, ebay, or any other meet someone selling methods. Can’t pay to find out where to start & what to do, so I’m looking for good sources like this one for guidance. Thanks again.
Some shopping is a sign of a bigger problem. These strategies are a start for anyone who wants to curb there spending and manage their finances. Nevertheless, I will encourage anyone who gets a high from shopping or shopping is becoming out of control to seek professional help.
Although this is a great list, I don’t quite necessarily agree with some of the points in means of helping one spend less. Like you, I prefer to spend money on experiences rather than things.. but that doesn’t mean I cut off all means of ‘entertainment’ out my life.
By avoiding TV & commercials, not reading blogs, not buying magazines, etc, you’re not really teaching yourself how to stop buying things you don’t need. You’re just avoiding the problem. I feel anything dealing with finances requires some sort of discipline.
The biggest thing that helped me was learning to budget. I prioritized where my money first needed to go & then I could decide what to do with the leftover. Anytime I shop, if ever, I always ask myself.. Yes, I know I want it.. But do I need it? This simple question has really disciplined me when it comes to finances as I realize most the things I want, I never need.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is.. you don’t have to cut all the things you mentioned above out of your life because that’s not really dealing with the problem. I feel one gets a better experience facing their demons head on. Go into a mall.. Go into your favorite store.. And learn how to tell yourself no. No matter the price, the sale, or whatever. But avoiding the problems will only end up in shopping binges.. which I’ve had my share of as well.
L.
Great post! I currently have two part-time jobs since I was laid off from my full-time job last year, and I’ve had to cut back on certain things. I was constantly using my credit card to purchase items online and enroll in dance classes/expensive self-help programs. Now I’ve stopped using my credit card and I only buy things I need like food and gas for my car; I budget my money for monthly expenses like utilities, rent, cell phone, etc. I also buy most of my clothing from thrift stores so I won’t spend so much money at Old Navy, Gap, and Kohl’s. If I get tempted to make a purchase, I ask myself if I really need it now; I can just wait until my next paycheck if it’s something I actually need. Or I’ll think about the possible purchase and say: “Instead of spending money on this, I could put the money towards my electric bill instead.”
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One thing that helps me (which isn’t on this list) is to refrain from shopping while hungry, believe it or not. That usually applies to grocery shopping for healthy foods, but on the few occasions that I shop, it helps me with that too.
I just wrote an article titled, “Dress Your Priorities; Style Your Goals.” I think it does boil down to priorities and people unfortunately do not look at shopping this way. I have to admit, I’ve been guilty of this myself. When you look at your life from a matter of priorities, then you can dress that part of your life. This will help you make conscious choices instead of just buying to fill an emotional void. If losing weight and fitness is your #1 priority this year and you find yourself buying dresses and shoes to go to the club, then something needs to change. Maybe attracting a man is a bigger priority than losing weight, but it’s up to each individual to define what that means for them, and shop accordingly.
I’m returning some dresses and clothes I bought from victoria secret because now that I’m being truly honest about my priorities, I’m realizing it will suit me well to buy clothes to work out in and buy clothes I can wear to my business/networking events in summer feel good fabrics like cotton that also fit well. The dresses just have to go as they do not serve a practical need, even though they are nice to have.
I think one of the best ways to keep yourself from wasting money is to make sure that the money is YOURS in the first place. I have never been a fan of credit, but I know plenty of women who shop like crazy because they are using a credit card…or their financial aid/tax refund check…or their boyfriend/sugar daddy’s money. It’s easy to pile up debt or dig yourself into other ugly money situations when you’re splurging with money that you didn’t work for. But everything has a price, either up front or down the line, and it’s much easier to be responsible when the work has to come before the reward.
I appreciate this post. I prefer to spend money on Experiences versus Things. Learning how to surf of taking a friend out to a birthday dinner for me are more valuable. I also like how a lot of what you highlight is the Brain Washing that happens. If you want it, buy it, great, but Know WHY your buying it. Is it because you need it, or is because you were made to feel inadequate by the deliberate media powers that be. Great post :)
Yes, there is a lot of brainwashing that is meant to lead us to buy a whole lotta nothing. Great point about knowing the “why” behind a purchase.
BTW good luck with your site launch!
Rosetta, reading this post reminds of the times when I was so careless with my money. I always bought things I did not need. I remember going into Walmart spending my entire pay on things that I didn’t need. I had a cart full of nothing. I was so naive back then, but the sad part is that I am still paying for my careless spending from way back. I’ ve learn my lesson…one of the strategies that keeps me from buying things I don’t need is just to think about the struggle I endured just to get where I am now. I never want to experience that again.
I also pay extra money on my bills like, light, water or credit bill so that I won’t have any extra to spend on this I don’t need.
Several months ago I realized that I have to stay away from stores & malls to avoid overspending. I know the limits of my willpower! But I must admit that the coupons I get in the mail every other weekend from Lane Bryant would still pull me in. Now I throw them away as soon as I get them unless there is something specific that I’ve had my eye on & didn’t want to pay full price for.
Another thing that has helped me is shopping my closet. I was surprised when I realized how many pieces I have that can go with things I’d never paired them with before. So I have new outfits with old clothes!