“You achieve much once you stop telling yourself you can’t do things.” — Elizabeth Kadetsky
Whenever you give an excuse for why you “can’t” do something that you want to do, you are denying yourself an opportunity to improve your life.
You are, without a doubt, delaying your happiness.
It’s not all in your mind, though. Your behavior may actually be deeply rooted in how you were raised.
When you were growing up, you probably heard your parents say things like:
- NO, that’s too expensive.
- NO, that’s too dangerous.
- NO, you’re too young.
Of course they did. That’s what parents do.
The problem is, many of us have carried all those limiting beliefs into our adult lives.
Instead of exercising our right to be, well, GROWN, we get into the habit of telling ourselves:
- NO, I can’t afford that. It’s too expensive.
- NO, I can’t try that. It’s too dangerous.
- NO, I can’t do that. I’m too old.
Whenever you find yourself making these statements, simply pause for a moment and really think about what you’re doing.
You’re essentially re-enacting the role of a protective parent…except that now you’re 36 and you don’t have to be in the house before the street lights come on.
It’s time to stop treating yourself like a helpless child.
In those moments of doubt and fear, remember these practical truths:
- I am an adult.
- I am in full control of my life.
- I can do whatever I want!
Remember that you are a powerful woman of faith. A woman who knows that she is not meant to live in fear. A woman who understands that she has already been given everything she needs to reach her goals.
Instead of saying NO to yourself all the time, give yourself the gift of infinite possibility.
Take a chance on that wide-eyed, fearless little girl you were before you learned to be afraid of the world.
And that is when you will finally become free.
If you’ve been stuck in an “I can’t” rut for a while (maybe even years), but you don’t know what to do about it, my upcoming virtual workshop will help you get unstuck and start living on purpose! Click here to learn more: happyblackwoman.com/find-your-purpose
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
That’s an awesome post. Fear has robbed countless of people from the King that God placed within them. Many of us have fell victim at one point and time but the more I surround myself with positive people and reflect within as to what makes me HAPPY I am stronger.
So glad I found you on Twitter been following you since and even called in on the line a couple of times due to schedule.
Hi, Rosetta. I don’t know if you realize I blogged you about a week ago. You can find it here:
http://colorjoy.com/weblog
I appreciate your upbeat and down to earth approach to living life. Happy spring!
What a great post! I have spent much of 2014 thinking about my mother and how her fear of life was passed on to me. She was raised in a household where there was a lot of abuse going on. So when when she had me, she wanted to protect me from all the evil she experienced growing up. And while I can understand her need to protect her daughter, I have to understand that that kind of evil is not my reality. Living in fear is not good for me as an entrepreneur because it has kept me from making decisions that could enhance my business. I have been working on questioning my assumptions about life and where they came from so that I can live a more fully expressed life.
Thank you for the timely message Rosetta. You are right we do receive these negative messages as a child that were meant to protect us and we carry them into adulthood. It is time to stop the madness.
Good post. Thanks for the extra food for thought.