Let’s talk about “haters” today.
I put that word in quotation marks because this term has become very popular in recent years. But the truth is, you don’t have “haters.” What you DO have are people who don’t like you and people who don’t support your success.
So, when people say “I let my haters be my motivators” what they’re really saying is, “I care a lot about what the people who don’t like me think about me.”
Sure, it sounds kind of catchy, in a “you go girl!” sort of way, but when you think about it…
If you have to depend on your haters for motivation, it means that you care about their opinions way too much.
It means you have to be paying attention to what other people are saying about you. It means you have to spend time evaluating how people perceive you and how you live your life.
You should be motivated by your OWN ambitions, not by the fact that someone doesn’t like you or how you live your life.
This is the opposite of being empowered.
When you’re empowered, you don’t need everyone to like you. You don’t need everyone to validate you. And you certainly don’t need everyone’s approval.
Ask yourself: who do you want to give your time and attention to?
The people who DON’T like you or the people who DO?
The good news is that for every one person who doesn’t like you or the things you say or the things you do, there are a dozen people who adore you and absolutely want to see you succeed in life.
So instead of using your haters as your motivators…
Be motivated by the people who support you. Be inspired by the people who are in your corner. Be led by the people who are rooting for you.
Concentrate on the people who love you. And rather than wasting time worrying about haters, redirect your energy to loving them back.
Instead of proving the naysayers wrong, focus on proving your supporters RIGHT. (click to tweet this quote!)
Because you don’t need “haters” to motivate you to reach your goals.
You just need to believe that you deserve to achieve them.
Click here to learn more about our programs to help you reach your personal and professional goals —> happyblackwoman.com/programs/
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
I don’t know you, Rosetta and I actually stumbled across your site this morning. I am not a member of your community…just passing through, but –
THANK YOU!
Seriously.
I needed to read EXACTLY this today and I cannot tell you how much it means to me that you wrote these words and had the ovaries to share them with the world – and speaking of that – how you share yourself with the world seems pretty awesome.
If virtual hugs mean anything to you, here is one (big squeeze)!
Please, please, please keep doing what you are doing and know that you are affecting people like me…someone who is depended upon to be the strong one and all too often doesn’t feel so strong, like this morning.
I woke up at 4 am with some absolutely horrible fears of success. My business is growing and I’m scared of, well, you name it. I subscribe to the same philosophy on ‘haters’ as you do but your words calmed me down like nothing has yet, so, again…thank you.
I’ll be back on your site soon to soak up whatever else you have to offer up.
All the love in the cyber world – Natasha
This is a great way to reframe the “haters” meme that has been going around for some years around. Just shared on my Facebook wall. Thanks for the extra food for thought.
(ignore that 2nd “around”; that was a mistake)