Last night was our FOURTH Happy Black Woman Happy Hour in DC! We had about 35 ladies come out to Masa 14 for our summer gathering. Their rooftop bar was a fantastic space to connect over tasty Asian-Mexican small plates and vodka-spiked strawberry lemonade. (Shoutout to my girl @vivrant_thang for the bar recommendation!) This happy hour was extra awesome as my mom was able to join us again AND it was my last night in the U.S. before my month-long trip to Europe!
At the end of 2011, I made a commitment to be more intentional about reflecting on my life and work. My core question was: how will I know if I’m making progress on the goals, dreams and opportunities I have for myself?
It all started with my annual review of 2011. Since January 2012, I’ve been doing a review of each month as well.
My monthly reviews have helped me to:
After a whole month, it can be easy to forget all the things that you did. So here’s your chance to reflect on your experience of last month – how you spent your time and how you lived your life. Consider this your monthly review.
It’s best to conduct your review within the first 7 days of the month, while your memory of it is still fresh. Give this exercise about an hour so your mind can quiet down, be still and remember what was important.
Of course, you should feel free to use your own guidelines to conduct your monthly review! Or simply use these suggestions as a jumping-off point for something completely different.
Get out your notebook (or laptop) and make a list of the significant events that occurred last month, in both your personal and professional life.
Of course, YOU are the one who defines “significant.” Your list could include anything and everything from going on a date to joining a new gym to getting a raise at your job or landing a new client in your business. You may need to refer back to your calendar for this step. I know I sure have to!
Answer the following three questions:
Choose ONE word that describes your experience of the previous month. If last month had a theme, what would it have been? Or, name the emotion that captures the essence of how you felt during the past month.
After you’ve reflected on the past month, it can be useful to set goals and intentions for this one! What do you want to happen in the coming month? What do you want to feel, experience or accomplish?
I’m almost 30 years old and I don’t own anything.
Three years ago, this realization might have freaked me out. Today though, it’s a fact that allows me to live a life of greater freedom.
Yes, I am well aware that this is yet another post with the title of a Teddy Pendergrass song. What can I say? If loving Teddy is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
Like many of you, I’ve had my share of bad experiences over the course of my short life. I’ve dealt with lies, abuse, rejection and family dysfunction. I’ve gone through painful breakups and the death of loved ones, discovering that those events often bring out the worst in people (including me).
Along the way though, I’ve also learned how important it is to forgive. And I used to be the best grudge-holder you’ve ever met. I could give friends and family the “silent treatment” for weeks. I could be so cold when I wanted to be, just to “punish” someone for treating me badly. I was vehemently opposed to forgiving anyone who dared hurt me.
Until I realized that holding on to all that resentment was doing me more harm than the people who did me wrong.
“There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.”
– David Burns
This is a common complaint in romantic relationships: “He doesn’t make me happy.”
Well, of course he doesn’t. Because he can’t.
No one can “make” you happy.
When I quit my job in 2010 to work for myself, I didn’t do it without a safety net. I had already secured two anchor clients. Anchor clients are contracts that provide a guaranteed stream of work for a defined amount of time, while you figure out your next move. When I left my job, I had one six-month contract and one 12-month contract. Financially, I was pretty set for my first year. Those initial contracts drastically reduced the monetary risk of self-employment.
Independence Day in the U.S. is the day the entire country celebrates our so-called freedom. I say “so-called” because even though we live in a wealthy country, sometimes we allow the societal norms and values we have here to impede our personal freedom and happiness.
Last month, I finally booked my plane ticket for my upcoming trip to Europe! From August 7 to September 4, 2012, I will be exploring three countries I’ve never been to before: Greece, Italy and Spain.
Recently, I asked the following question on the Happy Black Woman Community Facebook page:
When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
There were a lot of interesting answers from women all over the world.
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.