When I was growing up, there were two messages that were pretty strong in my family.
1. Finish school and go to college.
and
2. Get a good job.
My mom was raising me and my little sister on her own and we didn’t have a whole lot of money. But what my family DID have was high expectations for me.
And I worked very hard to not only meet, but exceed them.
I did finish school and go to college.
Then, I went on to grad school.
Then, I went on to build a great career in my field.
As I got older, however, many of my goals drifted away from the original vision that my family had for me.
Maybe I didn’t want to have a “good job.” Maybe I wanted to work for myself and be my own boss instead.
Maybe I didn’t want to get married and buy a house and have babies. Maybe I wanted to stay single and childless and travel the world instead.
Over time, I got clearer on what my true goals were and how I could achieve them.
Although my family loves me dearly, they have not always been able to understand and support those goals.
And it’s taken me a while to be OK with that.
Because one of the hardest things about your journey is realizing that it’s YOUR journey. Not anyone else’s.
You can’t expect everyone to approve of or even understand the big goals you have for your life.
I mean, my grandmother still doesn’t get why I want to travel all around the world like a “gypsy” LOL.
Don’t be discouraged just because your family and friends are not supportive. You don’t need their validation.
But you DO need to believe in yourself, your purpose and your vision.
Don’t allow yourself to be limited by other people’s fears and insecurities.
There is infinite possibility for your life!
You can do anything you want and no one can hold you back…except YOU.
All you have to do is be willing to step out of the status quo, narrow-minded thinking and step into the abundant life that’s waiting for you.
Leave a comment: Are you waiting for permission and approval from your friends and family to pursue your big goals? If so, why?
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
“Are you waiting for permission and approval from your friends and family to pursue your big goals?”
Not much anymore. That was never a huge issue for me, but it HAS come up a few times in my life. If anything, giving MYSELF permission was a huge issue. Little by little, step by step, day by day.
This very topic is the reason I started my blog. My blog was created out of my own frustration of wanting more out of life. It seemed as if no one understands where I am, nor where I am going.
Yes, I’ve been there waiting and wanting the approval of family members. I am not sure why we as human beings are like that, wanting the approval of others, instead of just doing what we desire to do.
I almost didn’t enjoy my graduation, because I was waiting for the approval of one person who I respected, to say congratulations. I never received that congrats,but I learned from that moment to stop seeking the approval of others to live my life.
I am liberated now, and I do everything that I desire to do without anyone’s permission!
This is defiantly one of my biggest “flaws”. I don’t know where it started or how seeking approval has become such a major part of my life. What I do know is that seeking approval has stopped me from living a full and happy life. Mainly because I really don’t know what I want to do in life or what my next steps are. I think I focus so much on the approval that I don’t focus enough on me and what my passions are. That has caused a major rut which I am in now. Hopefully, I am work to find help in what my next steps are and really live the life I want.
This post was right on point. Im in the beginning stages of a Nulife my new adventure and I get alot of negative comments from my mom , my sister and brother. I was a teacher for 15 years and realized the students were drainning me. It was no longer a joy but a task everyday. I know they say negative things when m not around so when I pray. I ask God to cancel all negative words that are being released into the atmosphere about me. My brother when he calls ask if have found a real job as of yet. One of the sisters at church when the alter call was made for those needing jobs she kept motioning for me to go up.Failure is not an option . It s a lonely road so I am seeking out meetups and networking events so I can surround my self with like minded people.
This was right on time and needed. Being the only girl surrounded by guys growing up has been a challenge. I have always been challenged to ‘dress’ a certain way, ‘act’ a certain way and slowly i realize even ‘think’ a certain way. So while the boys in my family were freely making mistakes “sowing their oats” and growing into their manhood, i was being cultured to think and act like a “lady”. Much of my journey has been dealing with and accepting my families constant disapproval and realizing my self-worth isn’t tied to the titles that are given to me by them let alone the world. Redefinig myself has been extra important and i’ll continue to figure out and define my own success. Thank you for this post! Often times, i forget this important truth.
Growing up all I ever sought was my families approval of everything I did. It was if I never wanted to disappoint them or hurt their feelings. And I was living the life they wanted for me instead of living my own, even after having children. I always felt likeI was in bondage. But I am so happy now that the light bulb has went off and I have realized its MY life and not theirs. A lot has happened for me to get to this point, but I’m glad I’m here. I am currently in the process of beginning a business, leaving my corporate job, and moving across country to California. Like Rosetta said its MY JOURNEY not theirs!!!
Sounds like you are in a very exciting stage of your life, Eboney! Congratulations for stepping into your power. I guarantee your children will be inspired by your leadership long after you leave this earth. A life well-lived is is a powerful legacy!
This is definitely the problem I’m dealing with. I’ve been wanting my husband approval for a long time, but I know I will never truly receive it, until I start I get my VA business off the ground and make money. It’s hard moving forward when you don’t have the support but I’m learning to move forward without it.
I have coached several women who were having challenges getting their spouse’s support. The reality is that the people closest to us often have to “see it to believe it” if they don’t have the same vision as you do for your business. You may want to explore joining a networking group or association of women business owners in your area so you can get the support you need to keep moving forward. Having a coach or mentor helps, too!
I cracked up laughing about Gypsy! My dad calls me a California Hippie. How do they come up with these things?..ha.
I think my dad calling me a hippie means he really knows that I’m marching to my own beat. That I’m going to live where I want to live, travel the world, and pursue my goals. So, I don’t get a lot of push back from my parents.
One thing that I’ve learned is that pursuing your dreams (so, in my case — building a business) can be very lonely. So, I’ve actively sought out ways to surround myself with like-minded women. These are ones who know what it’s like and will support me along the way. We hold monthly lunch meetings and connect regularly via Skype or Hangouts.
Great point about surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Having that alternate support system can be so powerful! Such wisdom from Jennifer the Hippie :)
This post confirmed exactly what I’ve been feeling for a while. I also come from a family with a mother who doesn’t understand my big goals and dreams and for awhile, it really bothered me. I mean REALLY bothered me. I achieved everything that she wanted for me yet as I started to explore my own true interests and dreams, she always had an opinion. Being the CEO of me and starting my own health and fitness business, becoming debt free, and traveling the world DOES NOT seem unrealistic to me. I’ve created such a clear vision of what I want that I use each day as an opportunity to work towards that lifestyle. I’ve come to realize that no one can live my life for me and it’s okay to not be understood all the time. As long as you are sure of the life you want for yourself, that is all that matters. I love my mother dearly, but I choose to engage with like minded individuals who have big dreams for themselves rather than engage with individuals who are content with playing it safe and being comfortable. Thank you Rosetta for your amazing gifts and inspiration for women worldwide. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever imagine. :)
Thanks so much for sharing your experience here. It sounds like what you’ve learned throughout your process is that LOVING someone doesn’t mean you have to live the life they want you to live. Such a powerful lesson and so glad you are moving forward with your goals!