“It’s time for you to move, realizing that the thing you are seeking is also seeking you.” – Iyanla Vanzant
Ever since I got rid of my apartment back in 2011, you could say I’ve been a bit of a nomad, wandering from place to place, home to home. From DC to northern Virginia to Honolulu to Baltimore to Charlottesville to Europe to Richmond, back to northern Virginia with a recent trip to Thailand, this HBW has gotten around over the past two years! Underlying the urge to explore different cities and budget living arrangements was also a big question I had yet to answer.
Did I still want to call the DMV area home?
I went to college in Richmond and have built the majority of my personal and professional relationships here. But I’d been here since 2000. Now pushing 13 years, was my wanderlust a sign that it was time for me to go live somewhere else?
In my Life Mapping Workbook (which you can get for free here), one of the areas I ask you to explore is your lifestyle – where you want to live location-wise, your ideal living situation, etc. Those of you who are on the HBW newsletter (and actually READ it LOL), already know the decision I’ve made for myself in re-doing my own Life Map.
Today, I wanted to share the official announcement with everyone else who hasn’t yet seen the news via my emails or my personal blog…
When I left my job in 2010, I simultaneously started Happy Black Woman as a personal blog to document my journey of going natural and becoming self-employed. Today, it has grown into a supportive online community that encourages women to live their ideal lives. Here, we have positive, affirming conversations about personal development, self-care, relationships, entrepreneurship, lifestyle, travel and what it means to be free. I’ve been surprised and delighted to see how our HBW community has evolved from a teeny tiny blog to a large readership, then expanding to live events and training for women all over the country who are on the same path.
While I was on retreat in Thailand, what I realized is that I want to work with and for YOU on a bigger scale in service to my Personal Mission Statement (you can get this exercise in my full 31 Days to Reset Your Life program or the Kindle ebook version). In the space of just one month, I became present to the truth that I would have to step up once again to become the CEO of me – this time in a new capacity.
First, Decide Where You Really Want to Live
It took living on a tropical island in Asia 10,000 miles from home in a villa with 20 other entrepreneurs to realize that…
I love living on an island. I love being able to take my laptop to the beach. I love that I can write and connect and teach from anywhere in the world.
After I’d been in Koh Tao just a few days, I had a very casual, but life-changing conversation with one of the guys in our Project Getaway group. The concept of the program was to bring together a group of location-independent, tech-savvy business owners to mastermind and learn from each other in a beautiful tropical setting. So we were talking about our travels and homebases and where we wanted to go next. I found myself repeating a familiar refrain:
I have a great life in DC, but I would really love to live in Hawaii. That’s my dream! I lived there as a military brat from 1994-2000 and it’s always been my favorite place in the world.
That’s when it hit me. The little voice of adventure that got me on the plane from DC to Bangkok started asking: well, why the hell CAN’T you go live in Hawaii? Instead of clinging to all the excuses I usually give about it being so expensive (so is the entire DC area) and so far (that’s what airplanes are for), I just allowed myself to imagine the experience of doing something deliciously different with my life.
In that moment of brief conversation, I felt something shift inside me. My heart jumped a small jump of hope that one of my longtime dreams could actually come true this year. Suddenly, I had decided.
I will move to Oahu, Hawaii before the end of 2013.
This year, I will spend my 31st birthday (New Year’s Eve!) on Waikiki Beach, embracing my new life with joy and excitement. My focus will now primarily be on building Happy Black Woman as a supportive online community and training company that empowers women around the world to create their ideal lives through personal development and entrepreneurship.
Then, Figure Out How to Get There
No matter where you might want to move to, you can only get there by taking action, one step at a time. I have a rough six-nine month relocation plan that involves completing my remaining client work here in DC, finding a place to live in Honolulu and securing more business under my desired areas of focus. It’s incredible how being around like-minded, adventurous people helped me open to the possibility of leaving the DC-MD-VA area I’ve called home for the last 13 years to start a new chapter in another part of the country.
I share this part of my plan even as it’s still being scratched out on the proverbial napkin, knowing that right now, you may also be struggling with fear and making the decision to try something new. Maybe what you really needed to hear today is that your dreams are NOT crazy and you deserve to see them come true. This is the year of choosing, after all. This is the year to say yes to your deepest desires.
I believe this is what it means to create your ideal life. To declare exactly what you want to do and figure out how to make it happen. As Seth Godin (one of my favorite writers) wrote recently, it’s easy to work for someone else’s agenda, but it’s much, much harder to prioritize your own.
The problem isn’t that it’s impossible to pick yourself. The problem is that it’s frightening to pick yourself. It’s far easier to put your future into someone else’s hands than it is to slog your way forward, owning the results as you go.
Perhaps it’s time for all of us to stop saying “I can’t because…” and start fully owning the results of the choices we make. For me, that journey begins now.
Have you ever made the decision to start over in a new city/state/country? How did you know it was time for you to take the leap and make the move?
I’d love to hear your experience! Leave a comment below and join the conversation – our HBW Community is becoming a great place to connect with like-minded ladies, ask questions and get support :)
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Rosetta Thurman is the Founder of Happy Black Woman. Follow Rosetta on Twitter.
Join thousands of women who have completed the only online course that gives you all the tools you need to get unstuck, set clear goals and rediscover who you truly are. Learn more about the 31 Days to Reset Your Life program here.
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
Hi Rosetta. I was at work two months ago and decided that I had enough of my stressful lifestyle and that it was time to make a change. I searched the web for the top low stress places to live and Hawaii was number one in the U.S. I immediately started researching life in Hawaii to see if it was a fit for me. Based on my research, I’ve decided to move to Hawaii and to start a new small business.
It’s now time for me to live my ideal life and stop killing myself in a meaningless manner. I look forward to the future and congratulate you on your pursuit of living a passionate life.
腕時計 スカーゲン
Absolutely! Absolutely what? Well, absolutely go where you want to go. I’m a black woman who is interested in living life. Granted, nearly everyone has an idea of “home.” Yet, some thrive ‘on-the-road,’ finding themselves, finding life. In my early twenties, I took a government job in the Philippines–hot, humid, beautiful, some wealthy, many poor–and I was there for nearly four years. Saved some cash, returned stateside and moved to Denver, Colorado. That’s a beautiful land. Left there for Santa Fe, New Mexico then to Atlanta, Georgia then back to Santa Fe for a spiritual fix(?). I visited Scandinavia and it was every bit as charming as I thought it would be. Chicago now; but, planning a European foray. Dizzy yet? I’m not.
Rosetta,
Congratulations on you’re decision to move to Hawaii! As this came to my email I was praying about relocating, didn’t know where or when I just knew it was time for a change. I’ve never been afraid to step out and explore until recently. Just being worried about family etc. But I’m taking your blogpost as confirmation, that it’s time to make a decision. You’ve always inspired me. Thank you for inspiring so many of us to follow our dreams!
Thanks for reading Danielle! It’s exciting when you allow yourself to let go of worry and just make the decisions that feel right to you :)
Rosetta, congratulations! I’ve read your blog for a while but never commented. I had to write just to let you know that this is PERFECT timing. There are so many changes right now in my life and I’m getting ready to move without knowing what’s coming next. Thanks for the encouragement and the reminder that I can figure things out as I go along.
Rosetta,
I’ve always wanted to travel the world every since I was a young girl. Although, I am married with kids, I still feel a strong urge to travel. I don’t want the excuse of having a family to stop me from traveling, I’ve given that excuse too much power. This summer will be my first time traveling to the D.C area, I am looking forward to visiting the area. The trip was going to be a short trip, but I’ve decided to make it a longer one, so that I can enjoy myself a little bit. I am so excited! I don’t know what to do with myself.
Thank you for always inspiring me to push forward in my endeavors.
Best wishes to you in your endeavors.:)
Have fun in DC! If you like seafood, try Eatonville – it’s my favorite restaurant in the city. I love the murals of Zora Neale Hurston and their fried catfish is fantastic.
Rosetta,
Congratulations on making this courageous next move in your life! Thanks to your posts and inspiration, I recently left the US to pursue a lifelong dream of living in Ghana. It has not been easy or without bumps in the road, but everyday I wake up in Ghana and not the US, I am happy to know that I am creating the reality that I want to live every day.
Again, congratulations on being bold enough to pursue your dreams.
Congratulations on your decision! It must be so wonderful to know what you want to do/where you want to be and just go for it. Wishing you all the best!
Thanks lady! Hope I get to see your face before I leave :)
Very happy for you Rosetta! Recently a friend introduced me to the minimalist lifestyle and among the many benefits is mobility. When you aren’t tied down with stuff, you are far more open and able to pursue your dreams. Your nomad lifestyle was prepping you for this move. I’m excited about the internal journey I’m on and in the future they’ll be a physical move as well. Fear isn’t holding me back love is. I believe your mother and I are the same age which means I’m one of those middle-age folks who has real concerns about caring for aging parents. Anyhoo, again very excited for you and I wish you continued success. Be well.
In my 20s…I lived all up and down the East Coast …loved it. I grew up in NY…left for college…and never looked back. back then, temping was the key to helping me transition from state to state, without getting penalized for a spotty employment record. I would know that the NEXT place was THE place…just by the feeling of “HOME” in that particular state. In my 30s…got married, had a child…settled for a bit. But now..that child is 3 years away from beginning his own life – and happily I’ve instilled the Gypsy Bug in him too. After he is off to college – I’m packing up and moving to Portland for a couple of years…after that – who knows!
Happy for you…go for it – and don’t look back!
This is so right on time as I’m planning to relocate this summer, from NY to the DMV area, after being a die hard New Yorker my entire life, last year I realized that it’s just not where I meant to be. I’m excited for the possibilites that await me, and congrats on your decision to move to Hawaii!
Thanks Tamara! The great thing with your move is that NYC is just an easy bus or train ride away from DC, so you can always visit if you miss it :)
thanks for the confirmation. I’ve been thinking about moving to Hawaii for years. Never been. Just feel spiritually drawn to it. And got an intuitive hit a few days ago that I’d be moving there in a couple of years to share my calling – The Path of the Open Heart with more and more people;and now I’m taking your post/blog as confirmation. Hope you don’t mind! :)
I could not be happier for you my dear. You are such an inspiration to so many and we are all happy for you.
I will have to look you up when I go to Hawaii in two years.
Peace and Blessing Lil Sis!
Thanks Alecia! You know I will have to set up some HBW events in Hawaii, hope to see you.
Rosetta,
You always inspire me! Your independence, the way you create your own life, the way you view the world, is truly uplifting!
I took your Blogging course last year. And, a year later, it has finally clicked. A spark has lit inside. I’ve finally made the conscious choice to create my own life and work my booty off to do so. I realize that, yes, this is EXACTLY what I want.
Back in 2005, I made the choice to start a life in West Africa. I, like you, was a military brat. So, after living in Cali for a few years, I was ready to go!
I often remember my 2 years living in Africa — the freedom I felt and the feeling of doing exactly what I wanted with my life.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. It serves as a constant reminder of what is possible if you believe in yourself. You rock!
Jennifer K.
Congrats on your clarity this year :) Would love to know what you’re working on now, if you’re willing to share. I have to admit, I’m still apprehensive about visiting Africa even though South Africa is on my bucket list. I hear so many things people say women should watch out for, but then it’s the same way with Mexico and I’m definitely heading there at some point!
“Have you ever made the decision to start over in a new city/state/country? How did you know it was time for you to take the leap and make the move?”
Feel free to read from the beginning. >>> http://spinsterscompass.wordpress.com/2010/10/11/move-i/
Thanks for sharing your posts with us Spinster. I’m glad I got a chance to read – I could feel the emotion in your writing as you were talking about making your move. I was just telling someone on Twitter that I’m feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Always nice to know other people have been there and made it through :)
No problem. Anything to help out those who want to take the leap.
So happy for you! You are truly an inspiration. I’ve never been to Hawaii but my husband raves about it and I hope to go some year. Look forward to continuing to follow you on your journey of wanderlust!
Thanks Quiana!And happy belated Mother’s Day :) You have such a beautiful family and Hawaii would be a lovely vacation for all of you.