Many of us were raised to only wear our “good clothes” for church, school or special occasions, a practice that’s followed us into adulthood when we buy our own clothing. I’ve done it a million times – bought a new outfit just to let it hang out in my closet until the right event, date or holiday gathering. I’ve had new clothes sit around for months because of this habit.
With the price tags still on.
Gretchen Rubin from The Happiness Project even shares the story of how she hoards her new underwear, “saving” them for months before she wears them.
Last week, as part of my July “buy a white t-shirt” campaign, I went to buy new underwear. When I got home, I forced myself to toss out my sorry old pairs, because I could feel myself tempted to “save” the new underwear. And indeed, even though the old underwear is gone, I find myself re-wearing the same laundered new pairs, so that I can “save” the new ones that are still neatly folded, with their tags on.
Why buy new clothes and then “save” them for months? Not wearing clothes is just as wasteful as throwing them away.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Do we really get some sort of twisted satisfaction from denying ourselves the gratification of wearing nice things? Or maybe we just don’t fully enjoy the effect of looking amazing unless someone else notices?
Whatever the reason, we have to stop the madness. This is just another way of delaying happiness until a specific event happens first. We have to remember that our life is right now, not later, when that special occasion finally comes around. You deserve to be happy every day. All day long. Eat your favorite foods. Wear your best clothes. Do what you love. That is happiness. That is living for the now and not some other later time.
I know I probably don’t need to remind you that tomorrow is not promised to any one of us. But I will. Because it’s not. And really, we have a responsibility to ourselves to make the most of the time we have today in this present moment. So please, wear your good panties right now while you can still enjoy them.
Are you a “panty hoarder?” Do you save your good clothes for special occasions? Why or why not?
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
*slowly raises hand* I too was raised with the “good clothes”. Year gotta break outta that mindset. Break out the new drawls! Lol
Thank you so much, this was truly the message I have been needing to hear! I wear my tired old uglies over and over, although I have a beautiful collection which sits unworn, never worn, and always “waiting”. I do this with my clothing also, I wear the old worn stuff until its falling apart.. am I punishing myself for wanting to look nice just for me? Well, thank you my dear, tomarrow morning I am throwing out every old ugly and wearing my real wardrobe.. and the first thing I’m tossing will be the sad old panties and bra.. yes singular bra I’ve been wearing over and over yet I have beautiful ones filling a drawer.. and second thing, the nasty old bag I’ve been using for 2 years, and my lovely new coach bag will take its place. Thank you so much for this much needed kick in the pants, guess my break up 2 years ago put me in a slump, but you are right girl! Gotta live for the now, no guarantee of tomarrow and why not dress to please myself even though I don’t have a man in my life! Luv ya!!
I support this post! I have never been a fan of saving “good china” or keeping plastic on your couch for 363 out of 365 days of the year for company you barely see or hardly like! Life is for the living. But I definitely do reserve outfits, especially shoes, for “special” occasions that never come. I set little challenges up every week like “I must wear at least one pair of these shoes I bought at least once this week” or things of that nature. Who is more special than you yourself? :)
I used to be the same way about clothes as well. Now I encourage my children to wear their “best.” Its cool.
I will say that clothes make people feel good. Like when I wear my full Zulu colors or rock my “dress” capoeira gear. Both make me feel like I can fly and deflect bullets. I think it has more to do with the value we place in material objects more so than “waiting” for that happy day.
I L-U-V the heading.
I understand that the panties are a metaphor for other things that we hoard in our lives because I don’t do this with underclothes, but I am guilty of doing this with fragrances/perfumes. I tend to use the more expensive fragrances for church or special occasions. Today, I decided to dab on my most expensive scent as I got dressed for work. I smell good, I feel good…for that reason, I’m happy!
Eye-opening and empowering as always, Rosetta! When I read this post the other day it was like you stepped directed into my world. I’ve done this very thing for years and never could put a finger on why. I’ve keep things with the tags on so long that they’re either out of style or too small. I bought some bras the other day…I’m wearing these puppies immediately :-).
I have everyday undies and “get em girl” thongs and such. It depends on my mood. But all my bras are epic “get em girl” push-ups. Doesn’t have to be a date night or anything.
I love that you have “get em girl” underwear LOL. I don’t think I have much that would qualify under than terminology now that I think about it – so maybe I need to get more “good panties” in my life!
However, I don’t wear nice clothes like I should. I live in front of my computer, and sometimes I just change from one pair of pajamas to the next. Today, I’m hanging up a really nice outfit on my office door, just in case.
Now wait, I am on the opposite side of the coin. I need the instant gratification of wearing the new underwear, so much so that I have to do a special load of laundry just so I can wear them. Hmm, that makes me ponder, is my happiness fleeting. Now, I have to go ponder that which is worthy of doing. Thank you Ms. Thurman.
Great post. I did this when I was younger. Not anymore. Each day alive is reason enough to wear celebratory clothes, undees, whatever.
And saving underwear….is the worst. Most the people I know who do this are doing it for some theoretical guy who will be “worth” the showing. Chile please. Our bodies are valuable without the existence of men and should be reason enough to dress them up, not some theoretical romantic affair.
Excellent headline! Caught my attention right away. Why?
Because I am guilty as charged.
Now, I have no idea what I am holding on to these panties for? And when I do wear a good pair, I feel guilty about it. And now that I think about it, I do this with a lot of things. I get the message: stop waiting for a special occasion. Every day is a special occasion if you are lucky enough to be experiencing it. Fabulous!
Yes! I love this: “Every day is a special occasion if you are lucky enough to be experiencing it.”
Okay, first of all–fantastic title! LOL. Secondly, I adore this message. While I do sometimes purchase things with specific events in mind and save them for said events; generally I don’t save good clothes or panties for special occasions. I get playfully teased by friends (and strangers) sometimes because I am seemingly always over-dressed, but it really makes me feel good to dress up and wear something beautiful or fun even underneath where others can’t see it. And starting off with a good feeling in the morning boosts my confidence and helps me to carry that through the day and get alot more accomplished than I might otherwise.
This is going to make me put on my Italian shoes tonight, just cuz. :-) Those things make me feel pretty, and I guess it is kind of weird to delay wearing something that makes you feel happy, more feminine, etc…
Good post.