Today, I received a message from a woman – we’ll call her Sandy – who is having trouble making money in her business. There was one part of Sandy’s email that really touched me and inspired me to write this post.
“I have never not had to struggle. It is all I know and the people around me also have that struggle mentality. But I know without a doubt God has a greater purpose for me in mind. I was not meant to merely to survive, but to thrive.”
Do you have a “struggle mentality,” too? Do you find yourself getting in your own way every time you try to move forward with your goals?
If so, you are certainly not alone in your thinking. It’s a major mindset shift that many women in our Happy Black Woman community have to make when they decide to pursue their dreams.
Loosely defined, the struggle mentality is when you are so used to barely making ends meet that it’s hard for you to imagine living any other way. It’s when you’ve been using the “I’m broke” label so long that you’re secretly afraid of what your life could be like if you actually had money in the bank.
It’s when you’re so used to NOT being successful that it’s difficult for you to set ambitious goals for yourself. It’s when you’re so used to talking about all your problems that you fear what might happen if you actually got what you wanted out of life.
The struggle mentality is the result of being attached to your own suffering.
Here’s a quick quiz to find out if this mindset is preventing you from manifesting your ideal life.
When people ask you how you’re doing, what do you usually say?
A. Great!
B. Fine.
C. Oh you know, just trying to make it out here in this cold world.
If you answered “C” then you might have a struggle mentality.
Here’s another one:
You read a friend’s Facebook post about her upcoming trip around the world. How do you react?
A. Wow, good for her!
B. What a great example. I am inspired!
C. Must be nice. Too bad I could never do that. Us normal people have kids to take care of and bills to pay!
If you answered “C” you might have a struggle mentality.
As you can see, this mindset often prevents you from being happy for other people. You tend to resent other people’s success because deep down, you wish you could achieve similar goals for yourself.
The struggle mentality can also keep you from getting paid what you’re really worth at work and in your business because in your mind, you feel like you should be lucky to have a job or any clients at all. Anything is better than nothing, right?
But here’s the thing – when you expect the least in life, you GET the least in life. Small thinking will always create small results.
The good news is that today, that can change.
Today, you can decide to start dreaming bigger dreams for yourself.
You don’t have to keep sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else live amazing lives.
Instead of being attached to your own suffering, put your faith in the truth that miracles CAN and WILL happen for you…if you are open to receiving them.
Speak extraordinary success into your life and embrace the opportunities that come your way as a result.
Because you deserve to do more than just “make it” in this world.
You deserve to thrive.
Leave a comment: Do you have a struggle mentality? Do you have struggle friends that bring you down? If so, how can you shift your thinking so you can attract more success into your life?
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.
Yes, I have to admit that I am currently being plagued with the “struggle mentality”. Unfortunately, I am that sister who seems to never have enough and it has definately caused strain and distance in my relationships. As I write this, my stomach is one giant knot and my task is to figure out how to unravel myself from this victim mentality and live a life of abundance and plenty. Rosetta, thank you for this post. It caused me to take a hard look in the mirror and see the part of myself that I have been holding onto and that, unfortunately, is not doing a damn thing for me and my life.
It’s so powerful to be honest with yourself and see where you need to make some changes. The great news is that once you set the intention to live a different life, the “how” will be revealed to you in so many different ways. Wishing you all the best!
Sistergirl, ALLADIS!!!
Ahem, what I mean to say is, THIS RIGHT HERE!!!
Thank you for bringing attention to this deficit thinking that plagues so many of us and keeps us from playing a bigger game for our lives.
I am just transitioning out of a HORRIBLE struggle mentality while dealing with issues that resulted from having a struggle mentality.
My electricity was shut off today because I dont have the money yet. It isnt pleasant, but I am incredibly excited about my change of mind! My situation will catch up to my current mindset. I have to consistently put in the work to cement and maintain these changes.
I don’t have a struggle mentality, I have a problem with letting my faith work, instead of letting go and let God I tend to want help him out without knowing his plans.. or the roads he wants me to take
If I find myself having a “struggle mentality” (which, for me, usually includes a little jealousy), I quickly tell myself to knock it off. (Luckily, it doesn’t happen often.) I’m still rebuilding my life from scratch, so I know that I’ll be back to normal one of these days, and reminding myself of that helps keep me from having a “struggle mentality”.