I love Iyanla Vanzant. As an author, coach, spiritual teacher and host of the popular TV show, Iyanla: Fix My Life, she has inspired millions of black women around the world with her practical wisdom about life and relationships.

That’s why I’ve compiled 101 of my favorite Iyanla Vanzant quotes that will help you gain a new perspective on whatever issues you may be struggling with in your life. Be empowered by her words and share this post with as many women who need them on Twitter and Facebook!

101 Iyanla Vanzant Quotes

1. Lives fall apart when they need to be rebuilt.
2. It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn’t mean ignoring a situation. Letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is, without fear, resistance, or a struggle for control.
3. If someone has offended you, insulted you, or disappointed you, let it go! If you are remembering all the ways you have been hurt or forgotten, let it go! Ask yourself, what good does it do for me to hold on to this?
4. If you should encounter angry or unkind actions today, take a deep breath, reach deep within and greet the lack of love with love.
5. Nothing destroys self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love faster than denying what you feel. Without feelings, you would not know where you are in life. Nor would you know what areas you need to work on. Honor your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them.
6. In my deepest, darkest moments, what really got me through was a prayer. Sometimes my prayer was ‘Help me.’ Sometimes a prayer was ‘Thank you.’ What I’ve discovered is that intimate connection and communication with my creator will always get me through because I know my support, my help, is just a prayer away.
7. Release and detach from every person, every circumstance, every condition, and every situation that no longer serves a divine purpose in your life. All things have a season, and all seasons must come to an end. Choose a new season, filled with purposeful thoughts and activities.
8. You have a right to say no. Most of us have very weak and flaccid ‘no’ muscles. We feel guilty for saying no. We get ostracized and challenged for saying no, so we forget it’s our choice. Your ‘no’ muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, ‘I don’t care if that’s what you want. I don’t want that. No.’
9. You’ve got to know what your ‘thing’ is, and you’ve got to call it a ‘thing,’ whether it’s meanness, nastiness, un-forgiveness, arrogance, ego, resistance, rebelliousness or defiance. Everybody’s got a ‘thing,’ and once you call your ‘thing’ a ‘thing,’ we can give it a place to be or dismiss it.
10. Begin within. If it shows up in your life, it’s coming to tell you something about you that you’re acting like you don’t know. Something about yourself, or your relationship with God.
11. When we start the day with a spirit of joy, openness, peace and love, we put the universe on alert, we want more of the same.
12. No matter what is going on in your life today, remember, it is only preparation for better things.
13. Do not allow yesterday’s garbage to influence your experience today. It is unnecessary to punish yourself for being human.
14. What you tell yourself about yourself, about your life, about your limitations, you will believe.
15. Each day, focus your attention on what you want. Each day, take one step that will bring you closer to it.
16. Your life is a reflection of what you believe. If you really believe something can stop you, it will.
17. All things are possible! The key is to identify what you want, claim it for yourself, and believe that you are worthy to have it.
18. We must fill our minds with a truth loud enough to drown our the incessant defeatist voice of the negative ego.
19. Just do what you do and do it well. Stop worrying about what other people are doing, or what they will say about what you are doing.
20. You are powerful. Stand up in your power! Embrace your power! Serve the world by bringing your power into your life.
21. You have a right to say no…Your ‘no’ muscle has to be built up to get to a place where you can say, ‘I don’t care if that’s what you want. I don’t want that. No.’
22. If you want wealth, be wealth. Talk it. Think it. Prepare yourself to have it.
23. The process of life is ever guiding you, pushing you, preparing you for the next part of the process.
24. You know how to make it through the ups and downs, the good times and the hard times.You have done it before. You will do it again!
25. Everyone has something that blocks us from the full experience and expression of our nobility.
26. Fear wears so many clever disguises it is virtually impossible to always recognize it. Fear disguises itself as the need to be somewhere else, doing something else, not knowing how to do something or not needing to do something.
27. Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.
28. The only way to get what you really want is to let go of what you don’t want.
29. Changing your life does not always mean that you stop doing certain things. It may mean that you start doing certain other things. What you really want to do is nurture the attitude that you are open to learning more about yourself. Accepting more about yourself. This is what will inspire you to do something new.
30. You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.
31. When your life is going downhill, it doesn’t get better just because you want it to. Nor can you will it to be better. Your life will only get better when you get better.
32. Remain open. There is something bigger than you know going on here.
33. You can never love anyone to your own detriment. That is not love, that is possession, control, fear, or a combination of them all.
34. When you have something to do, life will not allow you to move forward until you do it.
35. The road of life is strewn with the bodies of promising people. People who show promise, yet lack the confidence to act. People who make promises they are unable to keep. People who promise to do tomorrow what they could do today. Promising young stars, athletes, entrepreneurs who wait for promises to come true. Promise without a goal and a plan is like a barren cow. You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can’t. Turn your promise into a plan. Make no promise for tomorrow if you are able to keep it today. And if someone calls you promising, know that you are not doing enough today.
36. When you can look a thing dead in the eye, acknowledge that it exists, call it exactly what it is, and decide what role it will take in your life then, my Beloved, you have taken the first step toward your freedom.
37. If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don’t do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.
38. Everyone has a purpose because God is a purposeful God.
39. Before you find out who you are, you have to figure out who you aren’t.
40. When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.
41. Act the way you want to be and soon you will be the way you act.
42. Education does not take place when you learn something you did not know before. Education is your ability to use what you have learned to be better today than you were yesterday.
43. Everything you have done and been through is valuable and important. In order to be who you are, to know what you know, to be where you are in this moment, you needed to go through what you went through.
44. If you really want to live your life to the fullest and realize your greatest potential, you must be willing to run the risk of making some people mad. People may not like what you do, people may not like how you do it, but these people are not living your life. You are!
45. Release and detach from every person, every circumstance, every condition, and every situation that no longer serves a divine purpose in your life. All things have a season, and all seasons must come to an end. Choose a new season, filled with purposeful thoughts and activities.
46. The highest form of praise you can offer to yourself, to God and to the world is to spend time each day expressing gratitude. It says to God that you are aware and appreciative of grace. It says to life that you are acknowledging its awesome presence in you. It says to yourself that you are worth the time it takes to be healed. Time spent in silence, contemplation and gratitude is time spent in devotion to a higher calling and a more loving state of being.
47. People have a right to change their minds and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. People change. As people change, their needs change. When people have a need, it is their responsibility to themselves to see their needs are met. And it has absolutely nothing to do with you.
48. You cannot make your life move faster than it’s moving. No matter how urgent your situation may seem to be, things are going to happen when they happen, not a minute sooner. Be patient with yourself. Be patient with others. Be patient with life. Patience always pays off.
49. Self-worth is an understanding on the intellectual level, trusting at the heart level, and accepting at the soul level that you are worthy just because you believe that you are. Your worthiness is proven by your existence. Your breathing. The beating of your heart. Your mere presence is all that is needed to establish your worth.
50. You have to meet people where they are, and sometimes you have to leave them there.
51. No matter what is going on in your life today, remember, it is only preparation. People come and go; situations rise and fall; it’s all preparation for better things. You must stretch, reach, grow into your goodness. Without the preparation we receive through adversity, disappointment, confusion, or pain, we could not appreciate the goodness when it arrives.
52. I would say to those struggling with self-love, right where you are, God is. That’s what I would say. If God can love you, why can’t you love you? For those looking for love, I would say, look for the God in everybody and you’ll find love. One of those people might ask you to marry them.
53. Accept yourself just as you are. What is there not to love about you? Really? You’re breathing, you’re moving, look at the capacity of your mind, your heart, your being…I think people don’t really struggle with loving themselves; they struggle with accepting that they’re not perfect based on some external standard. That’s what we struggle with. Because if you didn’t love yourself, just go and throw yourself in front of a truck right now, go on and walk out across the freeway. Nobody’s going to do that. Why not? If you’re so retched, go on, walk out there. What we struggle with is trying to reach this external issue of perfection. Let that go. Surrender. You’re fat? Be fat. You’re ugly? Be ugly. You stutter? Stutter. Be okay with that stuff and love will show up.
54. Gratitude is like a magnet; the more grateful you are, the more you will receive to be grateful for.
55. Challenges come so we can grow and be prepared for things we are not equipped to handle now.
56. Acceptance means that you know, regardless of what happened, that there is something bigger than you at work. It also means you know that you are okay and that you will continue to be okay.
57. You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.
58. Forgiveness is a process of giving up the old for something new. Old experiences and memories that we hold on to in anger, resentment, shame, or guilt cloud our spirit mind. The truth is, everything that has happened had to happen. It was a growth experience. There was something you needed to know or learn. If you stay angry, hurt, afraid, ashamed, or guilty, you miss the lesson. You will be stuck in a cloud of pain.
59. It’s important that we share our experiences with other people. Your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else. When you tell your story, you free yourself and give other people permission to acknowledge their own story.
60. Criticism does not make you smarter or better than the one you are criticizing. In fact, the stuff you are critical of in others is the same stuff you don’t like about yourself.
61. No storm can last forever. It will never rain 365 days consecutively. Keep in mind that trouble comes to pass, not to stay. Don’t worry! No storm, not even the one in your life, can last forever.
62. Change doesn’t have to be hard, and healing doesn’t have to hurt. Surely by now you know that every thing happens for a reason! There is something better awaiting you on the other side of this.
63. If you don’t ask for what you need, the need will keep getting bigger.
64. When the time comes for you to make a change or to grow, the universe will make you so uncomfortable you will eventually have no choice.
65. Every day is your day if you claim it. If you wait for somebody else to make it for you, you’re going to be disappointed.
66. You must earn what you have. Life does not give you anything. You must give in order to get. You must stand up to the very thing that challenges you, look it in the face, get clear about your intention, order your thoughts and your life, and proceed without fear or hesitation. Life is not unfair. Along the way, you will always find bits of information and support to guide you to purpose.
67. When you enter a new experience, all that requires healing rushes to the surface . . . You have to pause.
68. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Know that all things are working in your favor. If you take one step toward the light of Spirit, Spirit will take five steps on your behalf.
69. Perhaps you went to bed last night thinking about the overdue bills, the lack of finances, the problematic people and situations you have to face. This morning you woke up. Did you give thanks? If you didn’t, it is probably because you forgot that when praise goes up, the blessings come down. That should be enough to inspire you to be thankful.
70. Life doesn’t actually knock you down. It does, however, provide you with many opportunities to evaluate your standing in life: what you stand on, what you stand for, how you stand within yourself and for yourself.
71. Anger is a little thing. Hate is a little thing. Order is a little thing. Each of these little things has a major impact on the big picture. Right thinking, right action, and right response to the little things will help us conquer the big things, like injustice, inequality, poverty, and disorder. Until we are each able to conquer and master the little things in our lives, the big things will remain undone.
72. We make our days pleasant or miserable. If we insist on being miserable, irritable and nasty, more than likely the day will give us exactly what we give it. A day is too valuable to waste on misery and unhappiness.
73. Comparison is an act of violence against the self.
74. Be aware that who you are and what you have to offer can be a beacon to some lost soul.
75. The only thing that goes on in your life is what your allow to go on in your life.
76. Most of us know exactly what it is that creates the pain, confusion, stagnation and disruption in our lives. When we find something or someone creating in our lives that which we do not want, we must muster the courage and strength to stop it.
77. Your greatest adversary is also your greatest teacher. Like it or not, it is the job of certain people to bring out the worst in you. What they trigger is already in you. They are here to reveal the sore, tender wounded places in your heart and mind, and they are providing you with a wonderful and divine opportunity for healing.
78. If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don’t do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.
79. You are the love you seek. You are the companionship you desire. You are your own completion, your own wholeness. You are your best friend, your confidant. ‘You are,’ as poetess Audre Lourde wrote, ‘the one that you are looking for.’ You are the only one who can do what you are looking for someone else to do.
80. Stop hiding! Stop holding yourself back and playing yourself down! Stop worrying about how you look and what people are saying. Stop listening to what people are saying and trying to find out if they are whispering about you. Stop waiting for someone to tell you that you are okay or to make you feel special. Life is special! It is a special gift. This is your life! Now take your gift and live it out in the open! Decide today that you are going to live out loud!
81. One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point the finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life.
82. Many of us have a need to be right. We then set out to make ourselves right by making someone else wrong. We must get right with ourselves. Once we do, we will have so much to do, we will not have time to keep track of who is wrong.
83. When you know something or someone in your life is unhealthy or unproductive, that you have grown beyond where they are and where they want to keep you, you must let go. If you tell yourself you do not see it when you do, or if you tell yourself it will get better, you are not being honest with yourself. Stop trying to fix things or change things. Simply let go.
84. As you move through the day, be aware of how you treat yourself. Be aware of what you do to and for yourself, because you set the standard for others. As you grow in your awareness of how you treat yourself, you will probably become aware of the example you have set for others. You may realize that the time has come to set a new example.
85. To honor life, we must be willing to grow through what we don’t know yet, and outgrow what we know no longer fits us. We must be willing to give in to the process, moment by moment, realizing a new plot may be unfolding.
86. You can’t do anything as long as you are afraid of what might happen. Fear clouds opportunities, erases possibilities, and limits the ability to move beyond the place in which the mind is stuck. No matter how difficult we think the problem is, we must muster up the courage to face it.
87. When you really believe that you are worthy of the best, that you deserve the best and that there is enough of the best for you to have plenty, there will be no need for you to hold on to what you have.
88. Allow yourself to imagine what your life would be like if your hands and heart were to receive something better than what you are holding onto right now.
89. Why do we hold onto negativity? For some reason, we believe that others are affected by our experience of remaining upset, hurt or angry. Holding on to pain, anger, guilt or shame is the glue that binds us to the situation we want to escape.
90. There is nothing you need to do to make yourself more acceptable to God. You don’t have to work harder, nor do you need to change the kind of work you do. You don’t have to give more money to charitable organizations. The reality is, God doesn’t want you to give anyone anything if you only do it to impress God! God does not love you or find you acceptable because of anything that you do. God loves you and accepts you because you are a part of God.
91.  When a thing has served its purpose, it will go away. Sometimes it will break. At other times, it will simply die off. Then, there are those times when for no reason, it will simply fall apart. If you try to hold on to something that has already fulfilled its purpose in your life, you are going to hurt yourself. If holding on is disturbing your peace of mind, it makes sense to let it go.
92. Feminine power is silent, dark, mysterious, healing, nurturing. A woman can walk into a room and control it. She doesn’t even have to open her mouth if she knows where her power is.
93. Each of us face a moment in our lives called ‘the breakdown moment.’ This is the time when you must stand toe to toe, eyeball to eyeball, with the very thing you have tried desperately to avoid. In that moment, when there is nothing standing between you and the thing you fear the most, you will be forced to step into your greatness, because that is what life is demanding of you.
94. There are times when we do not recognize that it is time for us to move forward. When life is ready for us to move and we resist, life will move us by any means necessary. What may feel like a disaster is actually a graduation.
95. Remain open to being guided, supported and protected by the universe.
96. Forgive everybody for everything. Just forgive and start – most of us can’t start with ourselves. We have to forgive the people we think did things to us. So that’s fine. Start there – wherever. Start with the dog who peed on the rug. I don’t care where you start, just do it.
97. The goal of life is not to win. It is to play the game with love. The rules of the game are: have a strong desire to win, believe that you are worthy of winning, have faith that you will win, and, as long as you are alive, never believe that the game is over.
98. You can’t just cry about the pain. You can’t just pray about the pain. You must eliminate the pain.Be willing to share all of who you are.
99. So many of us want a partner, but we’re not willing to show all of us. That’s why we have a weave, we’re wearing Spanx and everything is ‘fine.’ If you’re not willing to let your partner see your cellulite or know your biggest fears, then you aren’t really ready to share yourself.
100. Until you are willing to accept total and complete responsibility for every aspect of your life, your life will keep sending you experiences designed to get your attention.
101. Rather than beating yourself up for what you are not doing, appreciate and celebrate the things you are doing. When you shift your focus away from what you do not want, you can create a vision for what you do. Don’t fight with yourself – focus on what you do, can do, choose to do, are ready to do.

I hope you enjoyed this inspirational collection of Iyanla Vanzant quotes!

Click here to learn more about our Happy Black Woman training programs: http://legacy-v1.happyblackwoman.com/programs/

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” – Alice Walker

On November 8, I watched my Facebook feed in disbelief as the reports came in that Donald Trump was, in fact, elected President of these United States.

Like most of my friends, I felt disappointed in my country and who has been chosen to represent us to the rest of the world.

It’s hard not to feel powerless in a country where the leader not only doesn’t align with your beliefs and values, but in many cases violently opposes them.

It’s hard not to get sucked into believing that because your candidate didn’t win, the world is now over as we know it.

But if we succumb to that level of thinking, it will only lead to despair about our future, the future of our communities and the future of our children.

The big picture is this:

Though we may not be able to control our political leaders, we still have control over the way we live our lives.

You still have the power to be a leader in your home, in the workplace and at your church.

You still have the power to influence your family, colleagues and community.

You still have the power to inspire others and make a difference – simply by walking in your purpose with your head held high.

Every single day, you have the opportunity to show the world what it looks like when a Black woman stands in her POWER.

Right now though, please take the time you need to feel your feelings about what’s happening in our country and around the world.

Prioritize your self-care and be gentle with yourself. Get some sleep.

Just don’t allow your life to be dictated by fear and worry.

Instead, choose to live your life with courage and love.

Choose to be an example of what’s possible when you stay focused on your goals, no matter WHO and no matter WHAT.

Choose to be the powerful woman you have always been and always will be.

Love,

Rosetta

P.S. If you want to achieve your big goals in 2017, I invite you to get started with my most popular personal development program, 31 Days to Reset Your Life: A Practical Guide to Personal Transformation. Once you sign up, you will receive 31 daily exercises that will help you get unstuck and start living the life you REALLY want.

Click here to learn more: 31dayreset.com

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis

So, let’s talk about the main topic on everyone’s mind today – the Presidential election in the United States.

Don’t worry, this is NOT another political rant about how critical it is to vote or how terrible Donald Trump is and how we must defeat him at the polls.

It’s simply a reminder not to get too caught up in the (carefully manufactured) political drama that’s happening right now.

While participating in the process is useful, what I know for sure is this:

We all have to be the President of our own lives!

We have to embody and manifest the change we want to see – not just every four years, but every single day.

To be sure, today’s election in the United States is a big deal, but I’m actually more interested in what happens TOMORROW – on November 9.

Will we start to make more courageous decisions to improve our own lives?

Will we begin treating each other (and ourselves) with more love, kindness, compassion and respect?

Will we stand in line for hours to vote, yet continue to neglect our own goals and dreams?

Will we watch the nonstop election coverage on TV, yet refuse to invest the time and do the work it takes to become who God created us to be?

The truth is, there is no President who can or ever will dramatically transform your life – you have to do that for yourself.

Amid all the drama surrounding today’s election, we have to keep the big picture in perspective.

Yes, who we choose to lead our country is important.

But it’s not nearly as important as who we choose to lead our LIVES.

Happy voting :)

Love,

Rosetta