In front of the Arno River in Florence
Florence had me at “buon giorno.” I immediately took to the elegant beauty of the old buildings, cobblestone streets and welcoming trattorias. There are gelaterias on every corner, good cheap wine and cute Italian men who openly express their attraction to black women walking around the city LOL.
My first delicious meal in Italy was made by this woman they just call “Mama” – penne alla salmone, grilled prawns & insalata!
I really did NOT like Rome. There. I said it! I had no intention of even visiting Rome in the first place. My plan was to go straight to Florence, but NOOOO, everyone said: YOU MUST DO ROME and YOU CANNOT GO TO ITALY WITHOUT SEEING ROME and so I went there and guess what? I couldn’t stand it.
Ever since I started Thurman Consulting, the services that have brought in the most money to my business have been speaking and consulting. Every month, I typically have at least one speaking engagement on my calendar as well as a recurring consulting client. But this month, I’m traveling around Europe – which means I have no speaking gigs on the books for over a month. Yikes!
crazy-looking grasshopper praying mantis I saw on my way to the airport – maybe it was an omen???
“This passport is fake,” the airport police officer says. He emphasizes “fake,” spitting the word out of his mouth like a wayward fly. A wave of panic rises into my chest. I’m at the EasyJet ticket counter, leaving Greece to head to Rome, Italy after an amazing few days on the island of Santorini. He’s looking at me like I’m a criminal.
relaxing on the beach with my book in Perissa (Santorini, Greece)
Wednesday was my last day in Greece (*sniffle*) and right now I’m in Rome, Italy! I left Greece wishing I had planned for two weeks there instead of just one. There’s so much I wrote in my journal about my experience of Greece, but I’ll just share the highlights here as I’m already behind on my travel diaries! (P.S. Thanks to everyone who’s been giving me great feedback about the information I’ve been sharing about my travels. It’s been amazing to hear from ladies who are now planning their own solo trips!)
someone who is not me parasailing in Perissa (Santorini, Greece)
Right now, I’m in Santorini, Greece. I’m writing this post at a cafe in the town of Perissa, famous for its black sand beaches. I woke up this morning thinking: how is this my life?
This time three years ago, I was working downtown in Washington, DC – enjoying my nonprofit job but itching for something new, searching for my Next Step. A few months later, I made the decision to leave my organization to work for myself. And my life has been a whirlwind ever since.
Almost a year ago, I chose to get rid of my expensive studio apartment in DC and experience living in different places without a lease, mostly through sublets. That decision freed up a lot of money to save for long-term travel, including a three 1/2 week trip to Honolulu, Hawaii and my current month-long trip in Europe.
Throughout this journey, I’ve also gotten rid of most of my personal belongings. It’s been so freeing to let go of my things that I now embrace the concept of living with less. Without having to worry about the acquisition, storage and maintenance of material possessions, I have found that I can have more experiences instead. I have lost a lot of my former desire to accumulate all the “stuff” I used to lust after – clothes, shoes, furniture. I buy only the things I need and keep only the things I really love. In this way, I have released attachment to much of what kept me from being able to just get up and go whenever I want.
The downside to this process (if there is one) is that when you release attachment to everything, the only thing left to focus on is yourself.
And for most people, that is the scariest.shit.ever. It’s been terrifying for me. I’ve been writing through the fear here on the blog, hoping to share what I’ve learned along the way and encourage other women to live life on their own terms. But I’d be shortchanging the journey if I didn’t also talk about how scary it can be to pursue your ideal life.
When you turn off the TV, close the magazine, unplug from the drama, shut out the negativity, stop the mindless shopping, get rid of all the stuff you don’t need and quit letting other people control your life, there’s literally NOTHING left to distract you.
So…now what? You look at yourself in the mirror and start asking questions.
The answers, when they hit you, can be overwhelming. Self-discovery can be an elevator dropping right on top of your head. It can make you want to run to the edge of the cliff and jump back into your old life.
Except that now, you can’t go back. There’s NO WAY you can go back. You’d have to unlearn everything you now know about yourself, about the world.
No.
At this point, your task is to fall deeply in love with your new self, to embrace this wide-eyed woman in all her naked glory. To softly sweep up the dust she kicked up when she burst through the door, dazed and confused.
Then figure out what to do with her.
When you begin to discover who you really are after so many years of procrastinating on your desires, of burying your dreams in the sand, it’s as if a veil gets lifted. You become a baby learning how to walk. You realize that YOU HAVE LEGS and they can take you ANYWHERE YOU WANT TO GO.
But a big part of you doesn’t want to learn. You don’t want to be a baby, after all this time you spent learning how to be an adult. So, you decide to stand up in defiance. It’s time to shake it off, this feeling of imbalance. You take two steps forward and fall. You stand back up, taking three steps now. But you just fall down again. And again.
You start crying because the falling feels so lonely. When you fall, you’re down there on the ground by yourself, looking up at the people who seem like they already know how to walk. Falling feels like failure, so you want to stand. You would give anything to stand. To be able to walk like everyone else.
But you can’t walk when you’re in the process of finding yourself.
Now is the time to crawl and fall. After a while, the universe will send you angels who will help you learn to walk. They will show up in the form of strangers or friends or lovers who are meant to teach you how to see yourself in a new light. This is so that you can finally accept the uncomfortable truth that there is actually nothing to “find.”
You are already the person you’ve been looking for.
watching the sunset from the rooftop in Oia (Santorini, Greece)
The best thing I did in Athens was the free 3-hour walking tour. After all that action, my legs were so sore. My dogs were barking! While the tour was no cost, of course the guide expects a tip. I gave the guy $2 euro. It was SO worth it to hear all the history behind the city and the ruins laying all over the place. If you want to do the tour when you come to Athens, I highly recommend you check it out – just meet George in Monastiraki Square at 9:30am!
I’m writing this post from the McDonald’s in Syntagma Square – great for FREE wi-fi!
I definitely packed all the WRONG clothes for this trip! In the U.S., I can usually get by in jeans for both day and evening (plus I typically get way too cold at the mere hint of air conditioning) but it’s so incredibly HOT here in Greece that I realize I’m gonna need some loose-fitting shirts and shorts STAT.
Who controls your life?
Pose this question to any person over the age of 21 and the answer will likely be: “Me! Of course. Silly girl.”
On the surface, that answer makes perfect sense. If you are considered an adult by society, you technically have the right to make your own decisions and therefore control your own life.
A street vendor selling bread and pastries in Syntagma Square
Note: This is the first post in a new series I’m trying out on the blog to document my travels and inspire other women to plan their own adventures. Travel is a huge part of my ideal life and I know it’s a value that many HBW readers hold as well. Stay tuned for more diaries from my month-long trip to Europe as well as some of the cities I visit during my speaking engagements!
The first thing I notice about Athens, Greece is the graffiti. Lots and lots of graffiti. While riding on the bus from the airport, I see it everywhere – on old buildings, alley walls, even on the storefronts of main street businesses. Does Athens have a gang problem or just a high number of street artists? I have no idea. But driving past all the graffiti makes me feel like if I stood still on the street long enough, I might get tagged, too!
Rosetta Thurman is a nationally-recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach dedicated to helping women create their ideal lives.