Yesterday’s post about my move to Baltimore and continued downsizing prompted some great comments and emails about how, exactly, to get started in creating a life with less stuff (and maybe more experiences instead).

We do this exercise as part of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge, but if you don’t plan on joining us for that program, the parameters below can be helpful to do when you have a free weekend or day off.

How to Decide What to Get Rid Of

If you’re feeling like you have too much stuff or there’s too much clutter in your living space, it’s a good sign that you need to start getting rid of some things. Your stuff might be holding you back from going after what you really want. My sister just moved to a big expensive apartment because she “needed” enough room to hold all of her furniture. So having a lot of stuff can also cost you money as it often comes at a price to store it either in your apartment, house or a storage facility.

Go through your living space and look around at all the things you own. Ask yourself if you really need or really love everything you’ve got sitting in your house, room or apartment. Go through closets, bedrooms, shelves, storage rooms, even your home office. For each item, ask yourself the following questions:

• Do I really need this?
• Do I really love/want this?

Be honest with your answers. If the answer for any item is yes, keep it and keep loving it. If the answer for any item is no, kick it to the curb by throwing it away, giving it away or recycling it. The idea is to get rid of ALL the stuff you don’t need or love. If you don’t need it or love it, it’s gotta go. Every single bit of it. If you have a roommate, live-in partner, spouse or kids, you can also ask them to do the same.

Things You Might Want to Get Rid Of

• Clothes (most of us have only a few outfits that we wear over and over any way)
• Shoes (many of us have shoes we only wear once a year with one specific outfit – why let them keep taking up space?)
• Old newspapers and magazines (if you haven’t read it by now…)
• Knick-knacks (and the curio cabinet they’re sitting in)
• Dishes (do you really need 16 coffee cups?)
• Old photos and gifts you never look at or use (sentimentality can be expensive)
• Rarely used or broken appliances/electronics (get them fixed or get rid of them)
• Anything you haven’t used or worn in six months (you probably never will)
• Things you’ve never used or worn (let it go already)
• Clothes with the price tags still on them from a month ago (return them or give them away)

This is where I am living now. I found it on Airbnb Sublets.

It’s been five months since I gave up my apartment and I’ve found a new place to explore. This week, I moved to Baltimore, Maryland. I am renting a room in a Bolton Hill townhouse. It is a lovely neighborhood. I will be here until the spring, maybe longer.

When I got back from drinking mai tais in Hawaii and visiting family in Florida, I stayed at my mom’s house until I decided where I wanted to go next. I looked at several places in the area as I wanted to stay close to home for a while. I missed a lot of things I didn’t think I would miss. Like being able to drive my own car to the store whenever I felt like it.

Before I left for Hawaii, I had two bins of clothing being stored at my mom’s house, along with two bins of books. Now, I’m down to just one 20-gallon plastic bin that fits all the clothing I own. That’s because when I came back, I took all the clothes I hadn’t worn in the last six months and gave them to a charity that picks up bags of items from your home.

This is the room I’m staying in now.

In it is a bed, a nightstand, a mirror. There’s a yoga mat on the other side of the room that you can’t see. I have my own bathroom. There is wi-fi here but no desk, which forces me to go downstairs to the dining room table or out to one of the many neighborhood coffee shops to do my work. Yesterday, I wrote three blog posts and booked a speaking engagement while eating french toast and sushi at one of my favorite restaurant/cafes, XS. I love that I can walk there from where I’m staying.

It costs less than $500 to live here for a month.

Everything I own now fits into my car. (Plus, my car.)

I’m learning that the list of what I really need in life is very short. With my expenses way down, I can focus on paying debt and saving money for a trip abroad this year.

How much do you really need? If you downsized your living situation, would it help you reach other goals you have for your life?

On my last night in Honolulu, I went to see a live band at Mai Tai Bar. That night, the Typical Hawaiians were playing. I would describe their music as low-key reggae with a Hawaiian flavor. Even the crowd was laid back. I had a mai tai. They make ’em strong, so it was a one and done deal for me. At the bar, I met a guy who reads tarot cards for a living. He told me I had “great energy.” Can’t argue with that, I guess.

Before that, I had teppan-yaki for dinner at Tanaka of Tokyo. I got the scallops, which they seared perfectly on the grill in front of me. (I supposed I should start calling myself a pescatarian now, with all the seafood I’ve been eating in Honolulu.) I got seated with a beautiful family from New Caledonia. Despite the language barrier, we had a neat conversation about what it’s like to live in our respective countries. They even tried to teach me a little French, but I got lost after “merci.”

Here’s some of what I did during my three 1/2 weeks in Honolulu: I updated the 31 Day Reset Workbook; booked some new coaching clients; conducted a few conference calls; cultivated a couple of new contracts for 2012; fell in love with udon and tempura, spent the day at Yokohama Beach with a lovely, eco-conscious couple; had the best sushi lunch at Aloha Sushi; experienced the most random tweetup ever with a beautiful sister from Kenya and the social media diva of Honolulu, not to mention several life-affirming conversations with complete strangers.

I also cut my hair. Again. It’s back to the teeny-weeny afro I started with 18 month ago in my natural hair journey. I went and got a pair of $5 hair-cutting scissors from the drugstore and chopped it all off over the small trash can in my room. I did it to remind myself that long hair or not, I am still beautiful, powerful and free.

What I realized as I was packing up to leave the YMCA is that I could have done most of these things from anywhere. Being in Honolulu this long has just shown me that my ideal life narrative – my Plan A – is totally possible. It was a great reminder for me to just keep showing up with my unique gifts, led by a sense of authenticity and faith in the innate goodness of people.

The universe is showing me, over and over, that I can be 100% Rosetta from wherever I am.

And for that, I am saying, merci.

This is my home right now. The women’s dorm at the Central YMCA in Honolulu. I’ve been living here almost two weeks. (Before this, I was staying in one of the lovely Westin hotels in Waikiki for a conference I was invited to speak at.)

I can be in Hawaii for three weeks because I have nothing holding me back from doing so. I have no apartment, no mortgage, no “stuff” waiting for me to “take care of” when I “get back.”

In living with less, I am also experimenting with impermanence.

Technically, I do not live anywhere, which means that I can live anywhere.

On Tuesday, I had a lovely lunch with a woman I met at the conference I spoke at. We had the best sushi I’ve ever had in my life. I tried inari for the first time. Tasty stuff!

She asked me what I was doing in Hawaii for so long.

“Living,” I told her.

That was the short answer.

The long answer is that I want to be able to live in different places without a lease for a while. Right now, I do not have a permanent address and I don’t want one. (My mail gets sent to my mom’s house.)

After this, I’ll be in Florida and then back to the DC area for my birthday on New Year’s Eve. After that . . . who knows?

I saw a place in Baltimore on Airbnb that I may rent for a few months. It’s in a really cute neighborhood. Then, perhaps I’ll continue on to Charlottesville for a month or so. It’s so lovely there in the spring. I visit there every March for the Virginia Festival of the Book, anyway.

Then, maybe the stars will align to bring me to Portland for the summer. Portland just seems like a neat place. With lots of food trucks.

All of this is in pencil.

My sister freaks out whenever I tell her I’m going somewhere new. She likes stability for herself and wants the same thing for the people around her.

I’m the total opposite. I like change. And even though it scares me a bit – the adventure of not knowing what’s going to happen next. It’s why I got rid of most of my stuff.

So that I can go anywhere. (Or maybe so that I won’t have the excuse not to.)

Besides, what I am learning is that home is wherever I am.

This is what I look like in Hawaii. How did I get here? A very nice client flew me and my co-author out to speak at their conference and I decided to stay on for three weeks. So far, it’s been an amazing time. I’ve been getting so much love from people here.

It feels like I’ve come home.

Technically, I have. As you may know, I actually lived in Hawaii for six years back in 1994-2000 after my mom married a Navy guy. We were stationed on Pearl Harbor and I went to middle and high school on Oahu. I come back here every chance I get, which until now has meant a week of vacation here and there over the years. This trip is a little over three weeks, so it’s very different than what I’m used to in terms of how I usually travel.

There is so much I can share just from the first few days I’ve been here, working and connecting with people. But for now, I just wanted to offer a few lessons (and photos!) to illustrate what my experience has been like so far.

Pack Light

For my trip, I wanted to travel as light as possible, but without having to buy a bunch of new stuff once I got here. So, I ended up packing one carry-on bag as well as one small duffel bag that I had to check. I was able to fit all my clothes in my Heys carry-on, but I wanted to make sure I brought a few light sweaters, tennis shoes, plus toiletries that could not be taken in my carry-on due to airport rules. Honestly though, I probably could’ve done without the duffel if I’d planned each of my outfit possibilities more carefully. I put my 2 laptops, camera, iPod, all my cords, a few books plus healthy snacks in a backpack that I also took on the plane as my “purse.”

Stay at a Hostel, Not a Hotel

Hotels are really expensive, especially for 21 nights! The conference organizers put me up in a fancy Westin hotel for three nights that of course, I couldn’t afford to stay at long-term. So, on the recommendation of a friend from high school who still lives in Honolulu, I made arrangements to stay at the YMCA residence hall, which is essentially a hostel run by a reputable nonprofit organization. I have the single room with community shower and bathroom that costs $250 a week (compared to $450-$700 a week at the cheapest hotels). It has the basics, a twin bed, desk, chair, nightstand, mirror, and a small wardrobe with drawers and a place to hang a few items of clothing and towels. They have a cleaning crew that cleans rooms once a week, but drops off fresh towels (and empties your trash) daily. I share the community bathroom with the other women on my floor, of which there seem to be few. My floor is women-only. There are showers, toilet stalls, sinks (these are cleaned every day). My lodging here is bare and cheap, but the place is pretty quiet and the people are really nice. It also helps that the hostel is right aross the street from the main tourist hub – Ala Moana Center. Ala Moana has pretty much everything I need – good cheap food, grocery store, and free wi-fi at Nordstrom. Plus, all the major bus lines and trolleys stop there so I can get to mostly anywhere I want to go on the island for about $2. And across the street from Ala Moana is the beach!

Find Cheap Food Options

The major downside to this hostel is that there is no community kitchen (though there is a community microwave) or refrigerator. There are no microwaves or other heating tools allowed in your room. It’s made it tough to stick to my food budget of $15 a day and remember that I’m not a tourist, I am essentially living here for three weeks and need my money to stretch. So, no fancy dinners on this trip! My favorite cheap places to eat so far: Marukame Udon, Zippy’s and Shirokiya. I LOVE Asian food, so the cuisine in Hawaii is right up my alley. I’ve been eating mostly noodles, rice, tofu and sometimes fish or shrimp. I typically have some type of bread or fruit for breakfast, some type of noodles for lunch ($5), then some type of rice dish or combo meal for dinner ($5-8). Plus lots of water and tea. To further cut down on my food costs, I also picked up a few nonperishable items from the grocery store like bananas, nuts, cereal bars, bread and nut butter.

Attend Free or Low-Cost Events

I’m not doing all the tourist stuff while I’m here like luaus or island tours, since I’ve lived and visited here before. The beach is enough of a tourist sight for me! So beautiful. And free! But I’ve also been able to find free social events as well, so I don’t feel totally alone here and I can mingle with other people my age. Before I left, I had scoped out some upcoming networking events and free cultural happenings, so I had a few things on my calendar already. Then, a few people at the conference told me about a few more sights to check out while I’m here. Today, I went to Ala Moana to watch a Hawaiian Christmas performance with hula girls which was really good. Last night, I had a blast at the First Friday Hawaii event in Chinatown – it was a big block party with food, drinks, music, art and dancing from 6pm-2am! People were everywhere and all the military cuties were out in full force. I’m still cracking up from this one guy (he had way too much to drink) who came up to me to get his mack on and said he thought he was in love with me. Womp! The scene was pretty wild LOL.

Make New Friends

For the first few days I was here, I spent most of my time with people I knew from the conference who were here from the mainland. I also made plans to hang out with my high school friend who lives on the island. But I was actually invited out to First Friday by new people I met at the conference. I ended up meeting them for dinner and drinks at this cool vegan-friendly diner called Downbeat where I had the best vegan burger ever. They also invited me to a boat party they’re having in two weeks. Then, one of my colleagues from the mainland introduced me to one of his college friends on the island and his girlfriend, who was really cool. So I might hang with her some more while I’m here. I was also invited to go check out what the protesters are doing here for Occupy Honolulu, which should be really interesting. People in Hawaii are naturally very friendly, so it’s almost as if you have instant friends once you meet one group of people. They seem to welcome you in and want to show you their island. As an introvert, I’m really grateful for this kind of hospitality!

Overall, living in Hawaii for three weeks is NOT the cheapest trip to take, by far. But I am essentially spending in three weeks what I would typically have to spend for only a one week trip, so for me it is well worth the money to be able to stay here longer.

Have you been on an extended trip before? What tips helped you save money and have fun at the same time?

I’m staying in the house as much as possible today. The crowds are always out in superhuman force the day after Thanksgiving, grabbing all the deep “discounts” on items that most normal people won’t ever need.

Of course, it takes me back about 10 years when I used to get caught up, too . . .

In 2002, when I was still in college, me and my boyfriend got up at 4:00am to hit up the nearest Walmart on Black Friday to buy Christmas gifts for our friends and families. We thought we were so smart and so thrifty to be shopping early. But there was so much dumb stuff on sale at Walmart for $5-20 that we ended up buying things we never even thought of. Things like: a pancake flipper, a boombox and a popcorn popper that all looked fun in the package but that the people we gave them to never used, not even once! After that, I realized how silly and wasteful it was to (literally) buy into the holiday shopping frenzy, just to be able to say we bought someone a gift.

After all, what we remember most about the holidays is the time we spend with the people we love, not the stuff they bought us.

Now that I’m practicing living with less, I’m predictably anti-Black Friday and all other over-the-top holiday consumerism. The retailers and marketers would love to have us believe that we NEED the next iGadget or the newest line of clothing and what better time to get it than 50, 60, 75 percent off? Yet, after the temporary high of playing with our new toy or wearing that new outfit, we usually revert back to our previous level of contentment. Why? Because having more stuff does not make us happier. Experiences do. Accomplishing our goals does.

But enough of my soapbox! That’s not why I wrote this post. I just wanted to share a few rules you might consider for yourself as you shop (or fight the urge to shop) not only today but during the rest of the holiday season.

Two Rules for Black Friday (and All Other Holiday Purchases):

1. Buy it only if you really need it. (Items that replace something worn or broken that you use/wear often. Things you’ve been saving up for and that the holiday discount will finally allow you to afford. Tools that will help further any of the goals you have for your business, career or your ideal life in general.)
2. Buy it for someone else, but only if they really need it. (Ask yourself if your sister really needs another random $100 gift card from you to show you care. It might be worth more to use the money for a special girls night out, just the two of you. That’s a memory you will likely keep with you for the rest of your life.)

You can honor yourself by spending your money in a way that feeds your goals and dreams, rather than takes away from them. This is what I think of every time I even think about taking out my credit card to buy a new item of clothing. This is why for me, Black Friday (or any other shopping extravaganza) just doesn’t make sense in the context of the goals I have for my life in general.

I’ve finally realized that I don’t need it all. I just need enough.

What about you? Does Black Friday help you meet your goals? How do you navigate the holiday shopping season?

What happens after you give up your apartment to save money? Lots of things, apparently. Here’s a bit of what I’ve learned so far.

So last night, I bid farewell to the room I’ve been renting for the last three months. For the next two weeks, I’ll be staying with my mom until I leave for Hawaii for almost a month. As I was packing up my things, I started reflecting on my experience living in someone else’s home. Not only was it not as bad as I thought, but I’ll be exploring this option further in my travels very soon.

There are a lot of things you can live without. (Most of your “needs” are actually “wants.”)

Over the last three months, I went from having a 600-square foot apartment to having a small room in someone’s home. I had everything I needed in my old apartment – or so I thought. I didn’t actually need a walk-in closet. Or hardwood floors. Or a balcony. Those things were nice, but as I’ve downsized, I learned that I really don’t need much at all. Obviously, I need a furnished room since I gave up all my furniture. But very few things need to be in that room. A bed. A dresser (and even this I could do without as I have bins for my clothes). A desk where I can do my work. A private bathroom (still haven’t tried the shared bathroom set-up, though I likely will soon). A parking spot for my car (for now). Add kitchen and laundry privileges and I’m set.

What other people think about your living situation doesn’t matter.

In the DC area it’s pretty common for young professionals to live with several roommates, but in other parts of the country . . . maybe not so much. At 28, some people might look at you funny for not having your own spot. But it’s important to remember that those people are NOT paying your bills! Their opinion of you should not matter. Even my mom has referred to me as “homeless” on more than one occasion, which bothered me at first. But I had to immediately shift my mindset to stay in the power of the decision that I made to modify my lifestyle. Most homeless people have no choice but to wander, but thankfully I do. If I wanted to, I could do a lot of things the conventional way. But I am choosing to experiment with something different at this point in my life. There is so much power in that.

New possibilities open up when you start living with less.

I feel like there’s been such a weight lifted off of me over these past few months. Yes, there is the fact that I’m saving $600 a month by not having an apartment in the city, but there’s more to it than that. I feel free. I feel like I can go anywhere. And technically, I can! I just have to be able to get to an airport to travel to my various speaking engagements throughout the year. (And have clients who can pay for the flight!) By forcing myself to live with drastically fewer things for three months (all my clothes now fit into two 20-gallon plastic bins), I’ve seen how much more mobile I’ve become. Travel just seems much more possible for me now.

Overall, my experience renting a room has been positive. My next step is to figure out where I’ll be staying in January once I come back to the mainland from Hawaii (and after spending the Christmas holiday with family in Florida). But honestly, I’m really not ready to think about that just yet. Right now, I’m thinking of palm trees and mai tais. And maybe having a Happy Black Woman Happy Hour in Honolulu??? Let me know if I have any readers on the island and we’ll see if we can put something together during November 28-December 21!