Travel is never a question of money, but of courage. – Paulo Coelho

I know I said I was going to start going on extended world travel in 2012, but the universe has given me the opportunity to begin experimenting with that goal much sooner! Me and my co-author have been invited to speak at the 2011 Hawaii statewide nonprofit conference in Honolulu during November 29-30 and we couldn’t say ‘yes” fast enough. Yay for fun business travel! So I thought, why not stay for a while and get in some rest and relaxation on the beach? And that’s when the lizard brain kicked in . . .

Planning My First Mini-Retirement

As soon as I made the decision to stay in Hawaii for a few weeks, the lizard brain came along asking me all sorts of questions. Hawaii is expensive; how are you going to pay for all this? How long will you be able to stay there before you go broke? Are you really planning on staying in Hawaii for weeks with no concrete plans?

Oh, yes. Yes, I am. Why?

Because having the freedom to do whatever you want means nothing if you’re not brave enough to do whatever you want.

Despite my bold declarations,  it took me months to buy my plane ticket, even though I knew it would be reimbursed by the client. (Hint: this kind of procrastination one of the most obvious forms of self-sabotage.) But last week, I finally booked my flight to Honolulu. This will be my first “mini-retirement” (see The 4-Hour Workweek, Lifestyle Design and Why It’s So Hard to Tell the Universe What You Want) and I will be living there for 3 1/2 weeks. Until now, I’ve never left home for longer than a week at a time.

I’ll be living on the cheap while on the island, so I’m looking at staying in a hostel or the dorms at the YMCA. I also have a few personal and professional connections there so I won’t be totally lonely. I’ve already begun scoping out Meetup groups as well as local networking events, not to mention the awesome nightlife on the weekends. During the week, I plan to be at the beach as much as possible!

The Irrational Fear of Getting What You Want

Amid all the excitement though, there is still this latent fear in me that I’ve been trying to pinpoint. Why would I be afraid to go to Hawaii? I’ve been there before. Hell, my family lived there for 6 years (1994-2000) after my mom married her first husband, a Navy man. It’s one of my absolute favorite places on earth. And yet, there is some apprehension there. Where is this irrational fear coming from? What’s going on here?

I’m afraid I won’t want to come home. 

And beneath that is the deeper fear that I no longer have a “home.” Without being tied to an apartment lease or home mortgage (or a bunch of stuff to lug around with me), I am able to go wherever I wish to. I am free. And right now, I’m terrified of what that means.

What are YOU afraid of that’s holding you back from pursuing your ideal life? If you can’t find an answer that feels true for you right now, keep asking until you can see the fear for what it really is.

Last month, I made a huge change in my living situation. After much deliberation, I made the decision to move out of my studio apartment in Washington, DC to rent a room in Northern Virginia as part of my goal to save money for extended world travel next year.

As I’ve said before, most people who say they want to travel the world NEVER get past the wishful thinking phase because of their limiting beliefs around money. Many people still think traveling is just for rich people or celebrities! Of course, this negative mindset prevents us from seeing ALL the possibilities available to us. There are so many steps we can take that will get us closer to any goal we have for our lives, if we only take action.

But anyway, I’ve already completed one of the first tasks on my journey to achieve MY travel goals for next year: saving money by getting rid of my apartment. Several ladies have asked me to share more about my decision and the experience in downsizing my living situation, so today I’m offering some tips on how to go about this for yourself and other things I learned along the way.

Get Clear About What You Really Want

Most people I’ve spoken to seem shocked that anyone would ever want to go from having their own apartment to a shared living space. My response is that it all depends on what your goals are for your ideal life. If being “independent” for you means living completely on your own, fine. But if being “independent” means being able to have more money in your pocket, it might be worth it. For me, for right now, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks:

• I’ve reduced my living expenses by 50%
• I now live closer to my mom and sister
• The move forced me to get rid of ALL the stuff I didn’t need, once and for all

Here’s the deal. I very much want to spend the latter part of 2012 exploring Italy, Greece and Southeast Asia. At this point in my life, that desire trumps any insecurities about not having my own place.

Rethink Your “Must-Haves”

After I got out of college, I was dead-set against ever having a roommate. “I’m a grown ass woman!” I would say to myself. Grown women need their own space. But I never stopped to let myself consider what it was I really needed from my living situation. As I began to explore cost-cutting measures and renting a room, I discovered that I really only needed a few things to be content with a shared space:

• My own room with a lock on the door
• My own bathroom with a shower and tub
• Kitchen privileges with a microwave, stove, fridge and oven
• A parking space for my car
• All utilities included, plus free wireless internet

Once I knew my real “must-haves,” it made it easier for me to find an opportunity that was right for me. If I had kids, I might have added other items to this list, but it’s still not impossible to downsize with little ones in tow. Many ladies have done it!

Determine How Much You Want to Save Per Month

My price range that I wanted to pay per month was initially $800-$1000. I figured since I was already paying over $1200 per month for my studio, any reduction would be a step ahead. Then, I started thinking more clearly. If I was going to make this huge change, I might as well save as much money as I possibly could! My final price range was $500-$800 per month to rent a room in a single family home. (You’re probably shaking your head at these prices but again, I live in the DC area where just having any place to live usually costs an arm and a leg.)

Research All Possible Options

For the DC area, the Craigslist “rooms and shares” section is a great place to find ads for rooms for rent. Roommates.com is another popular site. What I noticed were a few patterns as I did my research. All the “group house” type arrangements made pretty unbelievable claims in their ads that everyone was “quiet” and “clean.” Um, in a house of FIVE twentysomethings, I’d be very shocked if that was actually the case. Other rooms for rent were near colleges, so I expected to be living with kids who were still discovering the joys of getting drunk on school nights. No way! Finally, I settled on only responding to ads that described a single family home where I would be the sole renter. That’s how I found the room I’m living in now.

My current landlord owns a townhouse and is rarely home as she works and travels a lot, so I have the house to myself most of the time. It’s in a quiet neighborhood where I can take walks and focus on my work without being bothered. She also has a cute cat, Jazzpurr that is growing on me! Yes me, the former animal hater.  Sometimes I let Jazzpurr sit at my feet with her meowing while I write my blog posts. Overall, moving from an apartment to renting a room has been a great decision for me and what I want for my life.

Do you think this strategy would work for you and your financial goals? What are some other ways you could reduce your living expenses besides renting a room?

You’ve probably noticed me hinting around the blog and in the newsletter about my longtime goal of extended world travel. One of the items on my bucket list is to go on a trip to several countries for a few months versus the typical one-week vacation I give myself every year. Well, I’ve decided that the time to start planning for that dream is NOW. And by planning, I don’t just mean writing about it, researching it and asking other people about it. I mean taking ACTION on it. It’s time to make good on something I’ve always wanted to do for myself and my personal growth.

Thing is, most people who say they want to travel the world never get past the wishful thinking phase because their limiting beliefs around money (only rich people can do stuff like that, etc.) prevent them from seeing the possibilities. I have to admit, I was one of those people. That is, until I read Chris Guillebeau’s amazing manifesto, The Art of Non-Conformity: Set Your Own Rules, Live the Life You Want, and Change the World. Chris’ book basically kicked every excuse my lizard brain could come up with for not living my dream of being location independent to the curb. It was time for me to get to work. The first task? Saving money for my trip. Here’s what strategies I’ve been using so far. If you’re plotting a similar escape, these ideas may help you in your journey as well.

Decide Where You Want to Go (and When)

Ever since I heard about AirTreks from Tim Ferriss book, The Four Hour Workweek, I’ve been stalking their site every few months to daydream about my around-the-world trip. I’ve always wanted to visit Italy, Greece and lots of places in Asia. It just happens that next year, I will be turning 30 years old. I thought, wouldn’t it be great to celebrate my 30th birthday in another country? Why yes, yes it would. It also doesn’t hurt that my b-day is on New Year’s Eve and there are a ton of epic parties I could take part in, like in Tokyo or Sydney, Australia. I plan to leave next summer/fall 2012 for a duration of 3-6 months, staying in several different countries along the way.

Sketch Out a Basic Budget for Your Trip

I’ve been scoping out other people’s travel stories via blogs like YTravel Blog to see how much it actually costs to live on the road for a 3-6 months. Of course, your budget depends on how much you want to spend, but the average for a year seems to run around $15,000-20,000 if you’re going to spend a chunk of time in Asia, where the cost of living is super cheap. So I broke that down into $3,500-5,000 for 3 months, $8,000-10,000 for six and so on. I’m adding my round-the-world plane ticket on top of that ($3,000-5,000), just to be conservative. Still doing my research on costs, but the main way to keep them down during my trip will be to stay at hostels or guesthouses instead of fancy hotels. Eating from local restaurants or cooking my own food vs. tourist traps will help a lot as well.

Reduce Your Living Expenses

One of the biggest changes I had to make was to get rid of my apartment. I was living in DC paying $1,200 a month for rent on a tiny studio, in the city, close to all the nightlife and convenient transportation via the Metro. But I kept thinking of how much money I could be saving if I could cut my rent in half. Yes, HALF. So I decided to rent a room in someone’s house! I started looking on Craigslist’s “rooms and shares” section for a place in DC, Maryland or Virginia. Northern Virginia won out. It had the best options out of the three areas for $600 a month. The place I found has a private bathroom and a landlord who’s hardly ever home. It will take some getting used to (still feel like a houseguest), but the savings are totally worth it. I also get to be closer to my mom, who lives 10 minutes away, which was a huge perk to me choosing this place. Sidenote: One of my mental roadblocks in making the decision to rent a room also required me to get rid of the idea that “grown women” have their OWN apartment. Not if they want to travel the world on a budget, they don’t!

Earn More Money

Having this new income goal has definitely motivated me to take bigger risks in my business in terms of offering additional products and services. I have been promoting myself more to my audiences over the past few weeks and as a result, I now have a waiting list for new coaching clients, plus another full Side Hustle Boot Camp group! This was also the kick in the butt I needed to finally get the ball rolling to plan two LIVE events, something I’ve wanted to do for about a year now. This one is perhaps the riskiest business investment of all, but so far I’m seeing greater interest in the training I have to offer. Finally, I’ve also raised my speaking rates for organizations who want to hire me to present workshops or keynotes at their conferences.

So far, these money-saving strategies are putting me in a new mindset of taking the steps to reach what’s now an attainable goal vs. a lofty dream. The plan is really coming together, many years before I thought it would.

Have you ever gone on extended world travel before? If so, how did you save?

When I was a kid, I was the little girl who lived in the projects. I was one of many who stood in the free lunch line at school. I was a fatherless child being raised by a teenage mom.

When I was a teenager, I was the smart, geeky girl with Coke bottle glasses. I was the one all the boys made fun of. I was the teacher’s pet. I was the student all the popular girls wanted to cheat off of. Later on, I ditched the glasses for contacts and became the leggy hoochie mama wearing mini-skirts to class, ignoring all the boys. Payback!

When I was in college, I was the writer. I was the poet. I was the President of the English Club. I was a girlfriend and a future wife. I was a young black woman on her way UP.

After grad school, I was the nonprofit professional extraordinaire, on track to becoming a CEO of an organization sooner than I thought. I was an expert fundraiser, helping to raise over $1 million every year for the nonprofit I worked for. Then I left my job and became a consultant, working for myself.

There have been many things that have defined me over my short 28 years – or rather, that I have LET define me. My poverty, my pain, my relationships, my education, my clothes, my body, my salary, my job title.

Now, I am entering into a new stage of my life where none of those boxes are big enough or sufficient enough to hold the person I am becoming. None of those things are able to truly define me. Not anymore.

Getting Rid of the Boxes

Sometimes, when you’re unsure of your next step in life, boxes can be useful. Following all the rules that have been laid out for you is often easier than figuring out your own path. But after a while, a sort of disappointment sinks in. Is this it? Is this really the “good” life? Going to school, getting a job, then working my ass off my whole life just to wait for my freedom when I retire at 70? Being pressured by society to hurry up and get married by 30 and have kids before my eggs dry up? Postponing my dreams of travel and adventure for a more “secure” lifestyle?

Evolution is Terrifying

Over the past two years, I’ve learned a lot about myself and the possibilities for a different life. And the more I learn, the more I end up living outside of all the boxes that have been set up for me as a young black woman in America. Every time I stop playing small, I end up feeling alienated from many of the people in my life. Most do not understand. They find it difficult to support you in your new journey. That is the terrifying part. Feeling alone. But the more I embrace my true gifts, the more I see the importance of focusing on my own personal growth. I see opportunities for living location independent and taking my business on the road. Right now, I’m in the process of researching my options for extended world travel next year. One of the items on my bucket list is to travel around the world, starting with Europe and Asia. As it turns out, the planning is not as complex as I thought. What was I waiting for?

My own evolution.

I am evolving into someone who is madly in love with herself and the world around her. I am growing into a person who is letting go of fear and living a life of happiness and purpose. I am a sister in the fierce pursuit of freedom.

And maybe, what I’m really experiencing right now is the gift of realization that I am no longer bound to a box. I have finally given myself permission to shed the shallow definitions of the past and become who I really am: a woman open to love.

What boxes have you let define you in your life? Which ones have been necessary for you to shed in your personal growth journey?

Last weekend, I went shopping at the mall for the first time in over a year. My natural hair is growing out, so I wanted some cute, flowery accessories to decorate my ‘fro! I also needed to buy some flats to replace the ones I’ve wore down to the soles during my travels over the past year. Even though I’ve been training myself to live with less stuff, it was amazing how my sense of “wanting” became heightened as I entered the shopping center. Stores full of clothes I don’t need (and would probably never even get the chance to wear on the regular) seemed to beckon to me with the promise of beauty and belonging if I bought as much as I could from their racks.

Now, to understand why I’m so leery of “impulse buying,” I’ll have to tell you a little bit about how I grew up. When I was a kid, we lived in the projects. It was just my mom, my sister and me and we survived off of government assistance for the first part of my life. We were so poor that a woman from a local nonprofit bought my school clothes every year because my mom could not afford to. So, when my mom got married to her first husband, all of a sudden we had steady money coming into the house and she.spent.most of it. When I was a teenager, we would even go on random shopping sprees at the mall and hide the bags in the closet when my stepdad came home.

Because we shopped so much, even when we had money, we never really had any money.

So in that sense, I understand what the rags-to-riches rappers go through. When you’ve never had anything, you don’t know how to act when you do come into a little bit of money. All of the psychological trauma you go through from living in poverty and feeling “less than” everyone else plays a part as well. We become shopaholics. And I probably don’t have to tell you what the studies show: that Blacks and Hispanics spend up to 30% more than whites of comparable income on visible goods like clothing, cars and jewelry. That’s probably why the idea of the minimalist lifestyle is so attractive to me. I never want to judge my own worth by how much “stuff” I have. I think my life is about much more than that. And yours is, too.

But back to my mall experience. I could feel myself being influenced by all the shiny glitter stuff, so I made a silent promise to myself to deliberately window shop and admire the items in the stores, but walk out empty-handed. For the most part, I’ve been able to cultivate “the watcher” in my mind anytime I feel any pressure or impulse to buy something. It’s a concept that spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle talks about in his epic book, The Power of Now (and honestly, one of the books that helped me to embrace more happiness in my life and stop being so angry at the world):

Be present as the watcher of your mind — of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions in various situations. Be at least as interested in your reactions as in the situation or person that causes you to react. Notice also how often your attention is in the past or future. Don’t judge or analyze what you observe. Watch the thought, feel the emotion, observe the reaction. Don’t make a personal problem out of them. You will then feel something more powerful than any of those things that you observe: the still, observing presence itself behind the content of your mind, the silent watcher.

When you do implement Eckhart’s “watcher” concept, it’s incredible to realize just how many of our purchase decisions are driven by the past or the future – in terms of our minds using spending as a false solution for remedying how we feel, felt, or want to feel. After a year of not buying any clothes, it amazes me what people spend money on . . . even when we don’t really have the money to spend. Marketers have found the road to our hearts with commercials and shopping environments that prey on our insecurities. Their job, as it turns out, is to convince us that it’s OK (and even normal!) to us to be shopaholics and hinge our happiness on how much we can acquire. Which is why it’s no surprise that for many women, this definition may hit home:

Shopaholics, when they are feeling “out of sorts, shop for a ” pick-me-up.” They go out and buy, to get a high, or get a “rush” just like a drug or alcohol addict. Shopping addiction tends to affect more women than men. They often buy things they do not need. Holiday seasons can trigger shopping binges among those who are not compulsive the rest of the year. Many shopping addicts go on binges all year long and may be compulsive about buying certain items, such as shoes, kitchen items or clothing; some will buy anything.  Women with this compulsive disorder often have racks of clothes and possessions with the price tags still attached which have never been used. They will go to a shopping mall with the intention of buying one or two items and come home with bags and bags of purchases. In some cases shopaholics have an emotional “black out” and do not remember even buying the articles. If their family or friends begin to complain about their purchases, they will often hide the things they buy. They are often in denial about the problem. Because they can not pay their bills their credit rating suffers, they have collection agencies attempting to get what is owed, may have legal, social and relationship  problems. They sometimes attempt to hide their problem by taking on an extra job to pay for bills.

Now, I’m certainly not judging anyone here. We ALL have that one vice (or three) that cause us to struggle on the road to true freedom. But – we do have to start being honest with ourselves when we look at the current state of our lives and finances. For example, I meet so many ladies who tell me how much they “wish” they could start their own business, quit their dead-end job and travel the world. I’m usually all, HEY, go for it! Even inside the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge, I hear time and time again from sisters who envision an ideal life of freedom, self-employment and financial success. Yet, when I talk about what that reality requires in terms of time and financial commitment, many folks quickly change their tune. They would rather choose to live what they know is a mediocre existence of working for someone else (with the brief flashes of satisfaction that come with an occasional pair of Christian Louboutins) than the authentic fulfillment that is available to us when we seek to build a life that really matters.

I often want to ask (and sometimes I do, depending on who it is), how is it that you can “afford” expensive purses and shoes every payday, but you can’t bring yourself to purchase a domain name for your website or invest in a business coach? Well, I suppose that’s the more practical concern. The real-deal, million dollar question?

How much are you really worth?

Seriously. What you’re saying is that you “wish” you could be financially independent, yet instead of taking the steps to pursue your ideal life, you waste your time, money and energy on lining someone else’s pockets. And all YOU get in return in a closet full of “stuff” that won’t matter at the end of your life, when your friends and family are reading your eulogy. That may be a bit of a harsh way to put it . . . but it’s true. There is no clothing item in the world that’s more satisfying than the opportunity to achieve your highest potential, and for many of us, that means taking the road less traveled. The path we dream about, secretly long for and even sketch out in our journals.

If you’re reading this blog, chances are that I don’t know you. But what I do know is that you probably want something bigger for your life than what’s currently in front of you AND you’re either already taking steps to get there or waiting for these words to fly off the screen and kick you in the ass.

Either way, deep down, you know that you’re worth much more than the latest fashion label.

You know that you deserve a life that’s more amazing than what anyone else could ever imagine for you.

The question (and yes, I’m asking you!) is whether you’re willing to make a shift in your thinking from temporary satisfaction to long-term fulfillment. What is it honestly worth to you to be able to pursue the life that’s meant for you beyond the mall and the shopping catalogs?

As you well know from countless corny graduation speeches – the choices we make today are the ones that will shape our lives tomorrow. And whether it’s compulsive shopping or any other destructive habit, we have got to start placing more value on ourselves than the things that we put on our bodies and store in our homes. This is YOUR life. YOU are the one who gets to choose how you spend your money and your time. Do what you want with it, but don’t ever say you never had the opportunity to change.

Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing a post about what you actually should be spending your money on – meaningful investments you can make in yourself and your business right now that will start you on the path to success later, even if you’re still at the “side hustle” stage of your journey. If freedom is what you want, stick with me and I’ll try my best to help you get there.

Me? I’ve already got my bags packed. And I’d love to have you along for the ride.

These days, most of my time is focused on building my business. To be completely honest, I should probably say “all” my time, except for cooking, eating, sleeping, grooming and the occasional date or happy hour. I don’t watch TV. I don’t go shopping at the mall.

Everyday, I wake up and I work.

A few weeks ago, one of my readers emailed me to ask me if I sleep. I chuckled a bit, because I get this question all the time. I’m grateful for the concern, and yes I do sleep. I even take naps during the day! I just use my awake time a bit differently than many people do, because I’m on a path to design the life I want for myself. I’m working to achieve financial freedom and be location independent. I want this to happen not “someday,” but within five years.

These are some of my lofty goals:

• YES, I want to make a six figure income from doing what I love.
• YES, I want to be able to send my grandmother money every month to help her make ends meet.
• YES, I want to be able to afford to visit my family more often during the year.
• YES, I want to work less and have more time to explore my passions.
• YES, I want to be able to live in Paris during the summer and Hawaii during the winter.
• YES, I want to design the life of my dreams!

I wasn’t joking. And I realize that in order to reach these goals, it’s gonna take a lot from me in terms of focus, hard work and time. Granted, I don’t have a hubby or kids, so I still have more time than a lot of other women who are in the trenches of growing their businesses. The only person I have to take care of is myself. Which is a gift and a curse, right? On the one hand, I have fewer responsibilities . . . but on the other hand, there’s only one income in this household: mine. Some of my older friends tell me that being in my twenties is a great time to be starting out on my own and building wealth versus working for someone else. I agree, but there are a lot of other lessons no one really told me about business. Well, not just business, but the entire sort of mindset you have to have in order to be a successful entrepreneur and achieve financial freedom.

Freedom is hard work.

No, really. Being an entrepreneur is challenging enough. Sure, it’s great that I don’t have anybody’s boss breathing down my neck, but I have to be the one to motivate myself to do all the things that bring in business without anyone reminding me to: marketing, blogging, scheduling, etc. It’s exhausting and sometimes I look at my to-do list at the end of the day and wonder where the hours went. Here’s the thing about freedom. People always talk about how they want to be a millionaire (hell, put my name in that hat, too), but no one talks about how they want to work their ass off for five years to get there. Me? I’m putting the work in with the faith that the good stuff I’m putting out there in the universe is not just going to help people, but also going to create financial prosperity for me.

Freedom is lonely.

Yes. Oh, yes it is. There are very few people I can talk to about what building a business is like, especially an online business. No one understands (besides some of my fellow bloggers) how tough it is to share quality information on a regular basis and create products and services that people want to buy. Not to mention the pressure of waiting to see if they will or won’t take advantage of your stuff! Even most of my friends don’t know exactly what it is I do to earn money, and I’ve learned to be okay with that. We just talk about other topics when we hang out. But the stress of chasing a dream that very few people actually achieve? No one gets it. Very lonely.

But then, there are the amazing future benefits that I KNOW are possible despite the icky parts. The struggle and the sacrifice and the temporary stress are what keep most people from reaching their big, hairy audacious financial goals and ultimately living their ideal life.

But what if I told you that with a few years of hard work, you could have the life you’ve always dreamed of? That the success you yearn for is totally within your reach?

The life you want for yourself is absolutely available to you. No matter who you are, no matter where you live and no matter where you came from. But only if you want it bad enough. It will not come without hard work and focus and perseverance. No matter what you see in the magazines or on TV, there are no overnight successes. There is just you and the grind and the inevitable moment when it all comes together for you.

Freedom is priceless, yes. But it is not free.

They say that money can’t buy happiness. Indeed, financial journalist and motivational speaker Jean Chatzky breaks down the science of happiness, pointing out that since “there’s little difference in the overall happiness of millionaires and the middle class, “we’re better off buying experiences rather than things.”

The idea is that because novelty is so stimulating, the more new experiences you have, the happier you’ll be.

I’ve always tended to agree with that sentiment. I’ve never been a blow my paycheck at the mall kinda girl, though I did have those times once a season when I would drop a few hundred bones on the latest fashions. In general, I’d much rather save up for a trip to Jamaica than pay $300 for a pair of shoes. But even so, a few months ago, I began noticing a disturbing pattern. No matter how much I washed, my two laundry baskets were always full. How could it be that I always have dirty clothes? I finally admitted to myself that I have way too many clothes.

Apparently, I’m not the only one rethinking my approach to consumerism. A recent New York Times article sheds light on the fact that Americans are spending less overall, or at least thinking more carefully about their purchases.

“We’re moving from a conspicuous consumption — which is ‘buy without regard’ — to a calculated consumption,” says Marshal Cohen, an analyst at the NPD Group, the retailing research and consulting firm.

While calculated consumption might be bad news for retailers, it’s nothing but good news for consumers like you and me. You see, buying less stuff can actually make us happier.

New studies of consumption and happiness show, for instance, that people are happier when they spend money on experiences instead of material objects, when they relish what they plan to buy long before they buy it, and when they stop trying to outdo the Joneses.

The Lifestyle Experiment

In this particular lifestyle experiment, I knew that most of the effects would be permanent. I mean, once you get rid of stuff, it’s gone for good. My original goal was to eliminate at least 75% of my clothing. I’ve actually always wanted to see if I could exist with only a few items of clothing – good quality items that I could wear over and over. Mainly because it used to take me forever to figure out what to wear. Too many damn choices. As of right now, I’ve gotten rid of 50% of my clothes and already my tiny apartment feels so much lighter. And I’ll be ditching some more stuff once I finally do my fall wardrobe changover. It has to go if:

• I haven’t worn it all summer.
• I haven’t worn it in six months.
• I have never worn it.
• I don’t really like it.
• I shoulda never bought it.

People will say, oh no, you’re wasting money! No, actually I’m not. As Zen Habits points out:

You bought these items with hard-earned money, and you don’t want that money to go to waste, so you’ve been holding onto them. It’s a burden that keeps you from freeing yourself of these unneeded possessions — it forces to you keep the space they occupy, to maintain these possessions, to constantly see them every day even if you don’t want them, to walk around them or trip over them or live in a cramped, cluttered space. This is a burden, paying penance for your initial wasted expenditure of cash. But: the waste was when you bought it, not when you get rid of it. You bought something you didn’t really need — and the real waste would be to ignore this and not learn from it.

Enough said. I’m not about to waste this opportunity to release myself from the burden of keeping a whole bunch of stuff that I don’t need.

Results So Far

As I mentioned, I’ve gotten rid of 50% of my clothes so far, in addition to about the same reduction in my shoe collection. I even purged my kitchen of most of the dishes I had…like I really need 20 plates for a studio apartment with one person living in it. I also haven’t bought any new clothes since March and I’ve been just fine in the fashion department. Now I actually get to wear the awesome clothes I have! I only kept the items I really liked, so getting dressed is more of no-brainer these days. I curb my desire for more stuff by staying away from the mall and not reading magazines like Lucky Mag, whose express purpose is to get you to spend too much money on clothing, accessories and body products. I’m finding that I am spending more of my money on experiences – going out to brunch with my family, happy hours with friends, trips out of town – experiences that I will remember over the course of my life.

Not surprisingly, I already feel a lot happier.

Are you drowning in stuff, clothes or otherwise? Can you imagine a life with less stuff?

So I started this blog in January 2010 to chronicle the ups and downs (but mostly ups!) of my life as one of my personal commitments to making some big changes in my life this year. So far, I’ve embarked on a number of lifestyle experiments, some big (like going natural and quitting my job) and some small, like cooking good food for myself a few times a week and drinking more water, etc. I wanted 2010 to be the year that I lived completely for me and did all the things that make me happy. I also wanted to get rid of the things that did not make me happy, which involved a massive Facebook unfriending and distancing myself from some toxic people in my life.

One thing that allowed me to follow through on these changes was that I called them experiments. Out loud and in my head. By calling my lifestyle changes “experiments,” that meant there was less perceived risk in it for me if I failed. That meant I could always go back to my “old life” if the experiment didn’t work out. It also meant that these changes didn’t have to be permanent if I didn’t want them to be. Everything seemed more flexible by calling them “lifestyle experiments” vs. OMG I have to change EVERYTHING in my life RIGHT NOW FOREVER or I’ll DIE.

See the difference?

Even though I did the “big chop” to cut off all my hair to go natural, I knew that if I didn’t like it, I could always get a weave or a relaxer down the line. Even though I quit my job to start my own consulting business, I knew that if it didn’t work out, I could always polish up my resume and go find another job. When I thought about it that way, really I had nothing to lose.

And right now I’m in the midst of a dating experiment to aid in my quest for a boyfriend. I want a relationship, and this is a great way to force myself to actively pursue that goal. The beauty of it is that you can make up whatever kind of experiments you want to improve your life in whatever way you see fit.

Other areas where you could remix your life include:

• Health
• Career
• Dating
• Marriage
• Family
• Friendships
• Community

What are some lifestyle experiments you can test out in your own life? Are there any goals you could make progress on if you simply put more effort into them? Do you need a lifestyle experiment?