I’m a big fan of Twitter. It’s been great for building new relationships in both my personal and professional life. Now that millions of people are using the social network every day, I’ve noticed that there are certain segments of people who use Twitter in very different ways. They use it primarily to air their complaints, dissatisfaction and general unhappiness with every aspect of their lives (and the lives of others). You’ve probably got some of these people in your timeline. They can be easily recognized by their constant negative updates that usually start with or contain the words “I hate” or some form of snarky commentary about their job, co-workers, family members or the latest celebrity scandal.

Many of these people will often proclaim that Twitter is “free therapy” and that’s why they overshare so much about the depressing events in their lives. I think it’s interesting that some people describe and use the network that way, but no…Twitter is actually NOT a good replacement for therapy. Venting is not the same as healing.

What you will find on Twitter are people who will affirm your negativity. They will egg you on when you go on a rant against someone or something that’s bothering you. They will encourage you to continue to engage in unhealthy online behavior by RTing you or communicating with you throughout the day. Therapy, on the other hand, is what will help you move past your own personal challenges and actually find solutions to your problems.

Twitter is an interesting case study for human behavior, especially for black women, as we are one of the most active ethnic/gender groups using the network. I was struck by this again today when one of my followers, @blackgirlinmain tweeted this:

“…I think social media is an enabler to emotionally/mentally unhealthy people…echo chamber effect.”

I think she’s totally right. And as it turns out, recent research on assortativity in online networks backs up this theory as well. The March 2011 study shows that unhappy people follow other unhappy people on Twitter and vice versa. In this way, negative or positive status updates (and emotions) get spread online between certain groups of people. In other words: birds of a feather flock together. If you post a negative, angry rant on Twitter, expect to engage with other negative, angry people as a result. After a while, you’ll find yourself with a timeline full of complainers and Debbie Downers every.single.day.

If you do find yourself frustrated with the vibes that are coming from your Twitter timeline, here are a few tips:

Unfollow people who do not add value to your stream (or your life, for that matter). If you have to think about it, they probably don’t. If you’re like me and already following thousands of people, just be more discerning and aware about who you follow in the future.

Don’t get caught up in the latest “trending topic” just to be part of the conversation. This is not high school. Your life is not about getting noticed by the “cool kids.” Start your own (productive) conversation and you’ll find likeminded ladies who actually do add value and joy to your day. Ladies like @PeaceLovePretty, whose timeline is always an inspiration. Follow them!

Reevaluate the purpose for your time on Twitter. Are you spending so much time conversing with negative people because you’re in a state of depression? Are you lonely and therefore subconsciously seeking out other lonely, unfulfilled people online? Be honest with your inner self and get help from a REAL therapist. You’ll experience healing much faster that way.

Whatever you do, don’t let Twitter bring you down or distract you from the goals you have for your own well-being. (And yes, our online interactions drastically affect our mood just like our offline interactions do. There’s research on that, too.) Don’t let your online “friends” disturb your groove of becoming a better person and building positive, healthy relationships with others. Because, as the research shows, the people you follow on Twitter could literally be making you miserable.

I don’t watch TV.

(I’ll give you a moment to catch your breath.)

I have one, but there’s no cable or antenna or DVR or a Tivo hooked up to play shows like Lost or 24 or Real Housewives of North Dakota on it. I just use it to play DVDs on the rare occasion that I want to watch a Netflix movie. People are usually blown away when I tell them this.

“You don’t watch TV?! How can you live without TV?”

Or, “Well, if you don’t watch TV, what do you do for fun?”

Their surprise is understandable. Celestine Chua points out Nielsen research that showed just how addicted most people are to the boob tube.

The average American watched an average of 5.1 hours per day, or 153 hours of TV a month. That’s 1/3 of the time we are awake! This figure is increasing too, quarter by quarter. 5.1 hrs/day is nearly 2,000 hours a year, or 78 days – 2.5 full months.

Now wait one damn minute. You mean to tell me that there are all these people out there who waste two and half months every year watching TV when they could be making progress on their goals? Celestine goes on to reinforce this important point:

With all this time spent watching TV, it’s a wonder how we even have time to do anything else. Just imagine if we spend a fraction of this time working on our goals – we’d already be making so much headway by now.

People always ask me how I get so much done in my professional life and honestly, a big part of where I get “extra time” from is because I don’t watch TV. I’m working while everyone else is watching Basketball Wives. And I really don’t think I’m missing out on anything. I stopped watching cable years ago in college for purely monetary reasons (I was not about to use my few little dollars to pay the cable man). But then I got so used to not watching TV that it didn’t make sense for me to buy cable even when I did start making enough money to pay for it.

When I made the decision to go TV-free in college, I’d actually just taken a course on critical thinking where we talked about the advertising tactics companies use to make you buy things you don’t need. Expert marketers are paid to convince us that we’re lacking in friends, love and beauty and the only way to fix our lives is to buy more stuff. I realized how depressed it made me. I’d see a commercial for makeup and wonder to myself, “How come I can’t look like that?”

Turns out I was right. Watching TV can make you unhappy. And fat.

Watching TV Makes You Unhappy

Two University of Maryland sociologists found that people who described themselves as happy were more socially active, attended more religious services and read more newspapers. Unhappy people, however, watched more television. The results of the study suggested that television watching provides temporary pleasure to unhappy people; but, in the long run, it’s a waste of time and not particularly fulfilling.

Watching TV Makes Makes You Fat

A Scotland study found that “longer television watching was associated with increased obesity, lower intake of fresh produce, and decreased physical activity.” Other studies have shown that people who watched more than three to four hours of TV a day were nearly twice as likely to be obese as those who watched less.

Watching TV Makes Your Kids Fat. And Horny.

Leah Zerbe points to The American Academy of Pediatrics, which recommends limiting children’s TV, movie and video time to 1 to 2 hours per day; kids who watch more are more likely to be obese as adults. And a November 2008 study found that increased sexual content on TV raises the odds of teen pregnancy.

And guess what else? Black women are probably the ones who are most affected by the negative aspects of watching TV, because as an ethnic/gender group, we watch more TV than any other group in the United States. As in more TV than the average of 5.1 hours a day! Which may be why too many of my sisters are are obese and unhappy when we should be healthy and fulfilled.

Now I know I won’t be firing up nobody’s flat screen anytime soon. You?