Last week, I went to Lenscrafters to buy some new eyeglasses.

As I walked over to the wall of designer frames, the salesperson steered me toward the lower-priced options instead.

“Just to let you know, the further you go down the wall, the more expensive the frames get,” she explained.

Her tone seemed genuinely helpful, not condescending.

Still, I hadn’t asked her anything about price, so I was curious as to what made her mention it.

“I’m not concerned with how much they cost,” I replied with a smile.

“I just want to get the best frames to fit my face.”

She looked surprised and proceeded to hand me a little tray to place my selections on.

This exchange in the eyeglass store made me think back to the conversations we used to have about money in my family when I was a kid.

Your Background Influences Your Beliefs About Money

Growing up, my family did not have much money. In fact, my mom, my sister and I lived in the public housing projects in Ohio for many years.

I was taught to “bargain shop” for everything from food to clothes, shoes and cars.

I saw my mom, grandmother and aunt always cutting corners when it came to their desires.

So I thought that’s how I was supposed to operate in my own life.

I thought I had to shortchange myself when it came to my own needs.

That meant Wal-Mart underwear instead of Victoria Secret panties.

That meant getting groceries at Save-a-Lot instead of Whole Foods’ gourmet items.

Of course, this mindset served me well as a struggling college student, but as I got older and earned enough money from my job (and now my business) to be able to invest in nicer things for myself…

I felt GUILTY doing so.

Even though my bank account was bigger, I still felt like I should be picking out the lowest-priced clothes, shoes, food and cars.

It took me YEARS to finally stop buying those Payless shoes that hurt my feet and my back!

But once I started to see myself as worthy of having the very BEST in every area of my life, my money mindset completely changed.

Whenever I wanted something, I began to ask myself a very simple question:

Am I worth it?

The answer was always YES, which motivated me to figure out how to get whatever it is that I wanted.

I began to honor my own value when I stopped limiting myself only to what was “on sale.”

Despite my upbringing, I became willing to pay full price for ME.

How to Stop Shortchanging Yourself

Today, I invite you to think of an area of your life where you have been shortchanging yourself.

It could be as simple as buying the cheapest ice cream in the grocery store instead of getting the name brand you really want, just so you can save 50 cents.

This week, go ahead and splurge on the organic vanilla bean gelato or whatever.

It’s not the actual item that matters.

It’s the willingness to put higher value on YOU and your desires.

Put your money where your mouth is and you will find your sense of self-worth increasing in both significant and subtle ways, including asking for a raise at work or doubling your rates in your business.

Now just to be clear, I’m NOT talking about putting yourself into debt purchasing things you have absolutely no means of paying for.

What I’m saying is to buy yourself the BEST you can afford instead of automatically picking the cheapest option.

An Affirmation for Increasing Your Self-Worth

It may be helpful for you to repeat the following affirmation during this process of transforming your mindset:

“AFFIRMATION: I deserve the best of everything in life and I am ready to receive it now.”

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What if…

Every time you asked yourself the question, “Am I worth it?” the answer was YES?

 

Every year in December, I go through a personal reflection and planning process that I call “31 Days to Reset Your Life.”

I take this time during the last month of the year to pause and press the “reset” button. This is when I give myself the space to journal about what my life looks like right now and get clear on what I want the coming year to look like.

If you’d like to do the program with me and dozens of amazing women in our Happy Black Woman community, click here to get started. You will be able to download the program materials, join our private Facebook group and get access to 2 live calls throughout the month.

CLICK HERE TO BEGIN THE 31 DAYS TO RESET YOUR LIFE PROGRAM

For today, I just wanted to share my own responses for Day 1 of the 31 Days to Reset Your Life Challenge to inspire you in your own year-end reflection process.

“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” — Barbara De Angelis

When you look around your life, you have a lot to be grateful for. But you also likely have some areas that you would like to improve.

By now, you probably know that setting goals is a great way to begin the process of creating your ideal life.

But what can you do to lift yourself up as you go through the stages of pursuing those goals?

Well, one of the most creative ways to manifest your big goals is to write them down in the form of a love letter.

No, not to your romantic partner — to yourself.

Here’s an idea.

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