Like everyone else, I did my taxes last month and could hardly believe my eyes when I submitted the paperwork to the IRS.

I earned $60,000 in revenue in 2010, my first year of business for myself.

Of course, $60,000 certainly doesn’t make me rich (hello, expenses!), but the significance of this number, for me, is that it’s pretty much the same amount I was making as an annual salary in my previous full-time job.

Rewind back to January of last year. When I first quit my job, I was totally excited, but I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t also scared. The fear and the lizard brain were there the whole time, even as I began to build my business, work with coaching clients, get speaking gigs and create my own training programs.

Most of the time, I didn’t know exactly what I was doing, or exactly what the outcome of my efforts would be, but I kept going anyway. Which is how I ended up here today, having proven to myself that it’s absolutely possible to have a different life if you’re willing to work for it.

How to Become the CEO of You

A lot of Happy Black Women often comment here on the blog about their goal to leave their job and work for themselves. Many are in the process of doing so right now! If that’s you, I’d like to continue to offer encouragement and link you to tools that might help you in your journey. I know how discouraging it can be to struggle making $10,000 a year on your own, let alone the equivalent of a full-time income. But the first thing you need to know is that “the economy” has nothing to do with you. People are still buying products and services (and they always will). Your job is just to make sure they buy from YOU. So don’t blame “the economy” on why you can’t get your business off the ground. It’s a weak excuse, and I know you’re better than that. To get started, you may want to read my How to Start a Side Hustle blog post series.

The second thing you should know is that blogging and social media are responsible for 99.9% of the leads I get in my business. Without my online presence, I would have NO business. Seriously. If you don’t have a professional blog yet, download my FREE ebook, The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Starting a Blog. Geared toward newbie bloggers, this easy-to-read guide will take you from soup to nuts in terms of your blog concept, software, design, content, promotion and analytics. Longtime bloggers will also benefit from the marketing angle of the ebook which outlines how to build your personal brand online through blogging.

How I Make Money in My Business

I operate as a sole practitioner in my business, which is based in Washington, DC (though I can “work” from anywhere). My clients and customers are mostly women – young professionals, nonprofit leaders and small business owners.

Here are all of my income streams (in order of financial significance):

• Consulting services
• Speaking fees
• Part-time teaching as an adjunct professor
• Book sales (I have 2 books for sale)
• Affiliate marketing through my blogs (I have 3 blogs)
• Career, business and personal development coaching
• Online training programs

As you can see, I have a VERY diverse range of income streams, which together averaged $5,000 a month for my first year of working for myself. This year, I’ve been working to streamline my income to eliminate consulting and teaching, because they require a lot more time than the others and make me feel like I’m working a 9 to 5. My goal is location independence with my business so that I can travel and spend more time with my family.

But you know what the funny thing is? A year ago, I wouldn’t have believed I’d be this close to reaching that goal so soon. Last month, I got to go to Cincinnati for a speaking gig during the same week that my grandmother was having surgery. I had the opportunity to get paid as well as spend a few days with her in Ohio. I took my laptop so I could work when I had to, which wasn’t much. This is the life I had envisioned for myself last year. What started out as a side hustle has become a fulfilling business and career that both sustains me and allows me an enormous amount of freedom over my time.

Yes, it’s hard, but it’s actually not that hard. Not harder than working for someone your whole life just to “retire” and have fun, relaxation and wealth when you’re 65. That life is NOT for me. It never was. This is how to have a different life: Confess your big dream. Take the first step. Commit yourself fully. Distance yourself from negative people. Ignore the economy.  Get training. Work hard. There really isn’t one magic formula other people have that you don’t. A different life is available to you if you want it.

Today’s Assignment

Post your responses to the following questions in the comments:

1. What does your “different life” look like?
2. What’s the first step you need to take to become the CEO of you?

Have you ever looked at someone else’s fabulous life and thought to yourself, “What’s she got that I haven’t got? I deserve that kind of success, too!”

That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? That’s jealousy, baby. Green-eyed envy to the 10th degree. Of course, we all experience feelings of jealousy at some point, but it’s also something that if left unchecked, can not only prevent you from forming strong relationships, but hinder you from achieving your highest potential in life.

So, let’s nip that in the bud right now.

In the video below, I share a four-step process that you can use to not only overcome jealousy, but make progress on achieving your own success as well. If you ever struggle with feelings of jealousy, I truly believe that this strategy will help. It’s already made such a difference in my own life! Check out the video below to see what I mean (if you can’t see the video, click here) and let me know what you think.

Leave a comment below and tell me your biggest insight for how you can apply this strategy to your own life. What will you do in the next 2 days to take action?

And –  if you found this video useful, please share it with your friends on Twitter or Facebook! Thanks for reading and watching :)

If you’ve been following the blog, you probably know that the first exercise in my 31 Days to Reset Your Life program is to choose a personal mantra. A personal mantra is a positive phrase or affirmative statement that you say to yourself for the purpose of motivation or encouragement. This could be your favorite quote, proverb, spiritual truth or religious saying that motivates and inspires you to be your best self. Today I wanted to share a few (okay, a lot) of the ones that HBW readers have so generously posted here on the blog as we have taken the challenge to reset our lives as an online community. Enjoy and be inspired!

1. “Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening…Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.” – Alice Walker (via Miss Lucy)
2. “What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.” (via GG)
3. “Take the shoes off of your teeth and quit running your mouth about what you are going to do and put them on your feet and take some steps or run towards accomplishing your goals.” (via Dr. Cynthia)
4. “I choose to LIVE.” (via Sharon)
5. “I am flexible and flowing, open to the new and changing, at peace, and I trust in the process of life. Every moment is a new opportunity to become who I am. I move, with life.” (via N)
6. “It’s time for you to move, realizing that the thing you are seeking is also seeking you.” – Iyanla Vanzant (via Kim)
7. “My time is limited and I will not allow the noise of others’ opinions drown out my own inner voice. I will have the courage to follow my heart and intuition.” (via LaToya)
8. “Action conquers fear” — Peter Nivio Zarlenga (via Christen)
9. “I am willing to forgive. Forgiveness of myself and others releases me from the past. Forgiveness is my gift TO me, FOR me. I forgive, and I am free.” (via N)
10. “The creator of the universe is lining up things in my favor.” – Joel Osteen (via Rosalyn)
11. “Action is the antidote to despair.” – Joan Baez (via Jeannie)
12. “The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.” – Robert Kiyosaki (via ArtDeal)
13. ” Deep within man dwell those slumbering powers; powers that would astonish him, that he never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize his life if aroused and put into action. Don’t wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Weak men wait for opportunities; strong men make them. Joyfulness keeps the heart and face young. A good laugh makes us better friends with ourselves and everybody around us.” – Orison Swett Marden (via Nesochi)
14. “Don’t put a question mark where God has put a period.” – Joel Osteen (via Kim)
15. “I am not who I’m going to be. I am always becoming.”- Ruby Dee (via SolStar5)
16. “I am enough.” (via Elle)
17. “If you give your fear legs, it will run away with your dreams.” (via Spring Flowerchild)
18. “Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” – Maya Angelou (via StacyAustralia)
19. “You were born with potential, You were born with goodness and trust, You were born with ideals and dreams, You were born with greatness, You were born with wings, You were not meant for crawling so don’t, You have wings, Learn to use them and fly.” – Rumi (via Teri)
20. “I AM everything He created me to be.” (via MidWestDominicana)
21. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw (via Tara)
22. “Nothing great was ever achieved by being realistic!” – Tom Venuto (via Chivon)
23. “Before I left home I cut my hair close to my scalp so I could be a free woman w/ free thoughts, open to all possibilities. I didn’t know what I wanted to be but I knew I wanted to be the kind of woman who was bold, took chances and had adventures.” (via Nikita)
24. “Excellence does not require perfection.” – Henry James (via Chela)
25. “I follow the way of love.” (via Halona)
26. “By the laws of evolution, it is already in you to change, all you must do is be willing.” (via Libryia)
27. “Happiness is the consequence of personal effort.” – Eat, Pray, Love (via Chelseeblood)
28. “Nobody will Love me, the way I love me. So, the way I treat myself sets the standards for others.” (via MrsMe)
29. “The positive thinker, sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.” (via Duanecia)
30. “When things don’t go your way, when things go “wrong”, and especially if you do not seem to currently have enough money, do not attach a story or sense of self worth to your circumstances.” – (Mastin Kipp (via SistahKnow)
31. “To accomplish something you have never done before, you have to push beyond your comfort zone, trust your instincts, practice and believe in yourself.” (via 2nd Time Around)
32. “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.”- Joseph Campbell (via Virginia Shields)
33. “The most common way people give up their power is thinking they don’t have any.” -Alice Walker (via b.marie)
34. A” woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.” – Diane Mariechild (via Skyy Banks)
35. “If you don’t start somewhere…then I assure you, you’re going nowhere.” (via Star)
36. “Trust in the process of life.” (via Patricia1771)
37. “Those who are blessed with the most talent don’t necessarily outperform everyone else. It’s the people with follow-through who excel.” – Mary Kay Ash (via Spring Flowerchild)
38. “Pray more. Fear less. Live better.” (via Shondriette Kelley)
39. “Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.” (via Gladys)
40. “I found God in me, and I loved her fiercely!” (via Amy-Sharee)
41. “I AM the beautiful creation GOD made me, and I LIVE like it.” (via msjai)
42. “Sometimes we have to step out of the box, break it down, and shred it up”- Scenes from a Sistah by Lolita Files (via Meika)
43. “Fear nothing – especially not your talents and strengths. Be brave enough to show them off. Be grateful enough to use them.” (via Fefe)
44. “Faith is not believing that God can. It is knowing that he will.” (via Patrice)
45. “I allow and I trust.” (via FormerDreamer)
46. “Trust God and get going.”- Tullian Tchividjian (via My Natural Write)
47. “If you follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” – Joseph Campbell (via Cland1978)
48. “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” – Norman Vincent Peale (via BecomingAwesome)
49. “Never complain; never explain.” by Benjamin Disraeli (via Rob Prince)
50. “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.” – Albert Schweitzer (via Miss Qu)
51. “All people who are happy have God within them.” – The Alchemist (via Anonymous)
52. “I am righteous and truthful to myself and others and about myself and others, my soul is whole, my family, community and environment are order and are stable, and I am in balance with the natural world.” (via Qareet)
53. “Everybody ends up somewhere, but few people end up somewhere on purpose.”- Craig Groeschel (via Sly)
54. “Sail away from the safe harbor.” (via Charlene)
55. “Stop looking without and start looking within.” (via Cassie)
56. “I am financially free, excited about life, joyful.” (via Katherine)
57. the best way to lead is to be myself, and who i am is enough. (via B)
58. “My life is special. I live my truth. I nurture my spirit. I celebrate me.” (via ReFlectionary)
59. “Changing your life is hard. Changing your perception in which you see your world is easy.” (via Keith)
60. “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” – Gilda Radner (via Anonymous)

Which of these personal mantras resonates the most with you? Do you have your own personal mantra? Let us know what it is in the comments so we can add to this list!

Learn about our signature programs:

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You need look no further than Facebook or Twitter at any given time of the day to find an endless stream of sarcastic, cynical and negative comments about current events, celebrities, relationships, work or life in general. Sometimes, the level of snarky conversation we encounter online can be witty or even entertaining. But most of the time, it’s downright depressing.

Have you ever been around someone who literally hates everything? That’s what listening to a snarky person is like. The people out there that literally have nothing productive to offer beyond sarcastic commentary, hurtful criticism or mean jokes at someone else’s expense. All.day.long. At first it might be funny to hear them crack jokes about the latest celebrity or political scandal, but over time it definitely gets old. They always have something sarcastic or critical to say about any given person, topic or event. It’s almost as if they don’t know how to be positive, optimistic or happy about anything.

Because I see this behavior so much (online and off), I’ve started to wonder, what is the price we pay for snark?

What effect does engaging in negative, cynical conversation have on our mental health in the long run? Is it like secondhand smoke, clogging up our lungs, preventing us from fully accessing fresh air? Or is it truly harmless to say and hear negative things about ourselves and others day after day?

But honestly, and this is the main question that I tend to apply to everything these days, does being snarky make us happy?

Or, does it just help us fit in with all the other unhappy people?

Lately, I’ve been assessing my personal habits with the intention of getting rid of the ones that no longer serve me. For one thing, I love to look in the mirror (yes, I know, a little vain), although a lot of the time it’s to check to see if I look OK, if I’ve got a big pimple on my forehead or if I’ve got spinach in my teeth. While at first it sounds self-absorbed to say that I look in the mirror so much, I’ve recently realized that all too often, I’m looking in the mirror to see if something is wrong with me.

Do you do this in your own life?

Sure, we all want to look great before we leave the house. But many of us go way beyond that and focus primarily on our flaws, physical or otherwise. One example is how we sometimes keep too close of an eye on how our bodies look in comparison to others. For instance, it’s taken me almost my entire life to finally be OK with being a skinny black girl. I’m naturally thin, but you wouldn’t know it by the number of people (men and women) I’ve met in my life who’ve told me, “you could use a sandwich.” I used to live for the days when I’d step on the scale and find that I’d gained a few pounds, hoping to be on my way to a more “typical” voluptuous figure.

Now, I’m more appreciative of the body that I’ve been given. This body has allowed me to live and breath and move on this earth for 30 years and hopefully many more. This is the only body I have. Instead of wasting time wishing it was something else, my goal is to simply take care of it as best I can and love it as fiercely as possible.

I think this philosophy goes beyond simply accepting yourself as you are – though that’s important, too.

This is self-love.

This is saying, “I was made perfect and my main goal in this life is to act in accordance with that belief.” This is not about vanity, or even confidence for that matter. It’s about knowing that you are beautiful and worthy of every truly beautiful thing – and not allowing anyone or anything to convince you otherwise. This is recognizing that you need not compete with anyone, nor can anyone compete with you, because you were put here to live out your own unique purpose that no one else could ever fulfill but you.

Most of my posts here on the blog are about personal development and how you might make positive changes in your life – both big and small. Obviously, I think change can be really good, if that’s what you need. But sometimes, what we actually need is to focus on how amazing we already are.

There is nothing wrong with you.

And the more you stop looking for flaws, the easier it becomes to achieve your true potential in the world.

“Every one of us is called upon, probably many times, to start a new life. A frightening diagnosis, a marriage, a move, loss of a job. And onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute, driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore. To be hopeful, to embrace one possibility after another – that is surely the basic instinct . . . Crying out: High tide! Time to move out into the glorious debris. Time to take this life for what it is.” – Barbara Kingslover

Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of living abroad. After finally making my bucket list, I realized that international travel is one of my top priorities for my life before I “kick the bucket.” I’ve never been out of the U.S. for more than a week and I’d love to be able to leave DC for a while to just wander the globe for months at a time. I want to be able to take my laptop and work in cafes across the world. For me, this is one of my more immediate goals in terms of (re)designing my life. But it’s also a way for me to start over.

For the past 10 years (ever since I graduated high school), I’ve done everything I was *supposed* to do. I went to college, got good grades, held down jobs, paid my bills and basically maintained self-sufficiency. And now . . . now I’m ready to do all the things I *want* to do. Those things that I’ve only dreamed about in the past. Those bucket list items I wrote down just because I knew that they were NEVER gonna happen. But I’ve recently become very aware of just how possible it really is to reach those goals and create the life I want for myself. Now, I’m looking forward to where my newfound clarity will take me and excited about the whole process of starting over.

Have you ever wanted to start over?

I mean, a total overhaul of your life as it is now? I think if we’re honest with ourselves, those urges come to us many times at many different moments in our lives. After college, you’re probably excited by the possibility of your new professional life and career. Then you work at your first job for a few years and start feeling restless after awhile. Over time, you may begin longing for your younger days of fun and adventure. You might catch the travel bug. You may get a little wanderlusty. You might find yourself thinking about what it would be like to live somewhere else, take on a more challenging job or even start your own business. As even more time passes, you may long for a romantic partner or spouse to complement you in your journey. Ultimately, you might begin to wonder if there is more to life than what you’re currently experiencing.

This is the seduction of starting over.

There is this attractive idea that we can take a brand new job, meet a new person, or move away to a newer, more exciting place and completely change our lives forever. Or we could even look at the opposite – the loss of a job or the end of a relationship can also allow for a blank slate of new possibility for your life. Many people report feeling an immense sense of freedom – literally a weight being lifted off of their shoulders – when they either voluntarily or involuntarily give up their old life and routines for something new and unknown.

Why is starting over so sexy?

Well, for one thing it’s because this notion is absolutely true. By making just one change in your career, relationship status, living situation or even your emotional outlook, you can effectively start a new chapter in your life. You can begin to feel happier and more hopeful about your future.

The thought of starting over is so compelling to us because we all want to live our very best lives. No matter how hard we try to keep our heads down and be content with what we have . . . most of us know that we have the potential for so much more.

It’s something many people feel when they wake up in the morning dreading the fact that they have to go to work . . . again. Or on the way home on a long, inconvenient commute, wondering if this disappointing pattern will continue for the next 30 years. The good news, of course, is that it doesn’t have to.

Is it time for you to start over in some way? If so, what’s the first step you can take today?

* * *

Ready to press the “reset” button on your life and start over? Get my 31 Days to Reset Your Life program. Join over 3,000 people who have benefited from the program so far!