It’s hard to believe that Prince died today.

Besides being one of my favorite musicians, he was also one of my favorite ARTISTS, period.

I’ve loved his music since the 90s. As a little girl, I would watch all-day marathons of his videos on MTV.

I had “Diamonds and Pearls” on repeat back then.

I would sing along at the top of my lungs when the video came on.

Right now, I’m listening to “Adore,” my #1 Prince song of all time.

Whenever someone I know or admire passes away, it causes me to think about my own legacy.

More specifically, it makes me think about how I want to be remembered.

I think about the work that I do and whether I’m helping as many people as I can in the way that I’m meant to.

I think about whether I’m allowing my fear to hold me back from leaving a bigger mark on the world.

I said Prince was one of my favorite ARTISTS overall because there was such an elegant artistry not just in his music, but in the way he made it.

He was talented and eclectic and he shared his unique genius with the world, no matter what people thought of him.

He was proud of his amazing gifts and never apologized for them.

In remembering icons like Prince, we get the opportunity to look around at our own lives and evaluate the legacy we are creating with each action we take (or don’t take).

We absolutely have the power to change the world.

But how many times do we shrink back in fear?

How many times do we almost make it to the finish line but turn back, saying “maybe next time?”

Some of you know that my father passed away when I was just 6 years old so I never got the chance to know him – who he was and who he could have been.

Some of you may also know that that childhood experience is what causes me to live my life a bit differently than the average person.

I have a different perspective about what’s possible.

About what’s “realistic” for my life and the lives of everyone around me.

I have such a deep awareness of my own mortality that at this point in my life, I’m not even afraid of dying.

What I AM afraid of however, is not living fully while I’m still alive.

That’s what allows me to make what can seem like courageous or even “risky” decisions.

Like launching my business without knowing what the hell I was doing.

Quitting my “good job” to become self-employed 2 years later.

Traveling the world solo even when people told me it was “too dangerous.”

Moving in with the love of my life after just a few short months, because I just…knew.

I’ve realized that when you know your purpose, you can live your life outside of the realm of what’s considered “normal.”

The truth is…

Life is unbelievably short.

It passes by so quickly.

And we have no say in when we die.

The only thing we DO have control over is how we live our lives right now, in this moment.

Like so many women in our Happy Black Woman tribe, I’m clear that I don’t want to be on my deathbed wondering “what if?”

Or wishing I had done more of the things I was afraid of.

I feel emotional tonight not just because a musical legend has left us, but because of what he represents.

People all over the world are sharing their tributes to a man they never met.

Prince touched us at a deep level simply by being exactly who he was, unapologetically.

He lived his life so that he would have no regrets when it came time for him to leave this earth.

None of us know when our time will be up, which is the best reason to make the most of the time we have today.

If this was the last post I ever wrote, I would want you to know that you are here for a reason.

I would want you to know that you have a purpose that is bigger than you.

Bigger than your fears.

Bigger than your insecurities.

Bigger than the naysayers living in your head.

I would want you to know that you are loved, unconditionally.

And that every day, you get another chance to start over and be the person you were created to be.

Thank you Prince for being a light.

May you rest in peace.

It’s 10:00pm in Hawaii.

Right now, I’m listening to “Little Dreamer” by Lion Babe.

I’m sitting in my big purple reading chair reflecting on the past week, which has been filled with incredible experiences.

From attending my first Submarine Ball with my handsome sailor…

To flying out to San Diego for a 2-day business retreat where I masterminded with successful entrepreneurs and went indoor skydiving for the first time…

To teaching my new virtual workshop – “How to Host Your First Live Event” and getting amazing feedback…

To speaking at a live women’s event here in Honolulu on how to launch a profitable online business…

Life is full and abundant.

And yet…

Things are not “perfect.”

For the past few months, I’ve been working through some family issues with a therapist.

I’ve also been working with a high-level business mentor to help me grow Happy Black Woman to $1M in revenue.

And I recently hired a leadership coach to support me in the area of hiring and managing staff.

While this important inner work has been rewarding, it has often been messy and exhausting.

This is the journey of a dreamer.

Highs.

Lows.

Successes.

Failures.

Mountains.

Valleys.

Sometimes it can feel like a rollercoaster that never ends.

And if you try to walk this walk alone, it can feel like you’re drowning with each step.

If you don’t have a support network, you can fall into a “funk” and watch hope fade away with each negative thought.

So tonight, I just wanted to remind you that no matter what may be going on in your life…

You can still dream.

And those dreams can still come true.

It’s not too late.

Your dreams are just waiting on you to attend to them.

To honor them with love and kindness.

Even when you hit roadblocks.

Even when you run into snags.

Problems are NOT a sign for you to give up.

They are simply reminders for you take care of yourself during the process.

Sleep, little dreamer
Don’t forget to rest your little head

Rest.

Nourish your body.

Protect your energy.

Ask for help when you need it.

Request support and be willing to receive it.

Remember, you are a beautiful dreamer.

Be gentle with your dreams.

Let them inspire and motivate you.

Let them carry you through.

 

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

I was in Tucson, Arizona a few months ago for a mastermind retreat with one of my business mentors, Lisa Sasevich.

At the retreat, we did an activity where we had to reveal one of our business failures to our group and then share what we learned from it.

The failure I shared was from a few years ago when I did a 4-city speaking tour around the country.

We had named it the “Launch Yourself Tour” geared toward women who were ready to get their businesses off the ground.

I was in the airport headed to my first tour stop from Hawaii when I got a frantic call from my assistant.

She was calling to tell me that the brand name “Launch Yourself” was already trademarked and we had received a stern “cease and desist” email from the trademark owner to stop using it immediately.

I hadn’t done my due diligence to check to see if anyone else was using the name. And of course, I had already spent money on the graphic design, printed materials and a website for the tour!

I had my “sit on the airport floor and cry” moment – but soon we were able to spring into action and get our graphic designer to update all of our marketing materials with a new name: the “Launch Your Business Tour.”

Turns out, the name “Launch Your Business” was much better and more appropriate to the work we were doing. Years later, it’s also proven to be way more profitable than what we had originally come up with.

My lesson?

Sometimes good ideas fail so that better ones can take their place.

The Importance of Acknowledging Your Failures

I’ve realized how important it is to acknowledge our failures, instead of trying to sweep them under the rug.

When we avoid the truth that we are human and we make mistakes, it is nearly impossible to learn from them.

Because the real value is in the wisdom you gain as a result of going through the failure.

Every problem, every crisis, every challenge, every setback comes with a lesson.

No exceptions.

But what can hold you back (for months, years and even decades) is the STORY you tell yourself about the failure.

What Story Are You Telling Yourself About Your Failures?

If you launch a new product or service and no one buys it, you might tell yourself the story:

I’m just not cut out to be a business owner.

If you have a falling out with your best friend, you might tell yourself the story:

I’m just not good at friendships.

If you get divorced, you might tell yourself the story:

I’m just not a good wife.

We live our lives based on the stories we tell ourselves.

That’s why we have to be very careful about what those stories are so that they don’t sabotage our success.

Four Questions to Help You Overcome Failure:

Today, I encourage you to journal about one of your failures as a first step in forgiving yourself and creating a new reality for your life.

1. What failure have I been beating myself up about?
2. What lesson did I learn from the failure?
3. What story have I been telling myself about it?
4. What would my life be like if I let it go?

And if you’d like to go deeper with my simple month-long process to help you let go of the past, get unstuck and start living the life you really want, click here: 31dayreset.com

Here’s an email that came in recently:

“The number one challenge I’m facing right now is that I don’t make enough money to do what I need to do. $1,020 a month doesn’t go very far. I work part time, and have been applying for full time work since 2011 to no avail. I don’t really want to work for somebody else but right now my choices are slim.”

We receive messages like this every single week, from talented, passionate, creative women all over the world.

While I’m not able to provide free email coaching to all the ladies in our tribe, what I can do is share some ideas that may help you move forward if you’re in a similar situation.

1. Change your language from limitation to affirmation.

Stop saying negative phrases like: “My choices are slim” and start replacing them with positive ones like: “I choose to do whatever I want.”

This is a much more empowering statement that affirms who you really are – a creative woman with choices in all areas of her life.

2. Recognize your power.

Alice Walker said, “‘The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”

Remember, just the fact that you want something MORE for yourself is an indication that you have been given a vision for your life that is bigger than you.

And when you have been given a big vision for your life, you have also been given the ability to make it a reality.

This means you already have the power to change your life. You just have to decide that you will do so.

3. Brainstorm solutions and take action.

If you want to move from where you are now to where you really want to be, you need to ask yourself the following questions:

Am I truly ready to transform this area of my life?

What strategies can I try that I haven’t tried before in this area of my life? 

What risks am I willing to take to change this area of my life?

Who can I ask for help or support in this area of my life?

Whenever you feel pain in a particular area of your life, it’s usually because something needs to change.

And YOU have to be the one to change it.

Because if you wait for something (or someone) outside of you to change, you could be waiting YEARS before anything shifts.

If you don’t do something to change your circumstances, a year from now, you could still be in the exact same place you are today – just a little more discouraged than you were before.

But when you can change your language, you reframe your circumstances and see from a new point of view.

When you can recognize your power, you gain confidence in yourself and hope for the future.

And when you can brainstorm solutions and take action, your life will transform faster than you ever thought possible.

I believe in you.

I believe in your goals.

And I’m here to help you as much as I can.

Get more advice for your life & business here:

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